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Bfttw Brotott Befifnnfnfi to 2r!)fnt5:. 


“ What’s the matter ! Kitty 1 What have you been 
running so for, this warm day 1”— p. 10. 



/ 1 


I 






. 

KITTY BROWN 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


\ 


- BY THE AUTHOR OF "SUNNY SIDE." 
S 


WRITTEN FOR THE AMERICAN SUNDAY-SCHOOL UNION, AND 
REVISED BY THE COMMITTEE OP PUBLICATION. 



PHILADELPHIA: 

AMERICAN SUNDAY-SCHOOL UNION, 

No. 810 CHESTNUT STREET. 

HEW YORK: No. 147 NASSAU ST BOSTOH: No. 9 CORNHILL. 

LOUISVILLE : No. 103 FOURTH ST. 




Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1853, by the 
AMERICAN SUNDAY-SCHOOL UNION, 

in the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the Eastern District of 
Pennsylvania. 


4®* No books are published by the American Sunday-school Union 
without the sanction of the Committee of Publication, connisting of four- 
teen members, from the following denominations of Chi-istiuns, viz. Bap- 
tist, Methodist, Congregationalist, Episcopal, Pi'eshyterian, Lutheran, and 
Reformed Dutch. Not more than three of the members can be of the same 
denomination, and no book can be published to which any member of the 
Committee shall object. ^ 






r • l'. 


r /\ 


r 

ofN 


CONTENTS. 


CHAPTER I. 

PAGE 

The Collation in Mervin^s Woods 7 

CHAPTER 11. 

The Singing-school 21 

CHAPTER III. 

The Funeral 31 

CHAPTER IV. 

The Chant at Seneca Lake 41 

CHAPTER V. 

Miss Nancy Jones 49 

CHAPTER VI.^ 

Kitty perfectly Happy '60 

CHAPTER VIL 

Kitty Reading “ Doddridge’s Rise and Pro- 

V GRESS” 73 

1 * , 5 

V 


6 


CONTENTS 


CHAPTER VIII. 

PAGE 


Old Mrs. Segur 85 

CHAPTER IX. 

The Call on Dolly 105 

CHAPTER X. 

ft 

The Bed-Quilt paid for 116 

CHAPTER XI. 

Kitty’s Visit with Eliza 127 

CHAPTER XII. 

Kitty hears a Sermon ; 143 


4 

f 


KITTY BROWN 

BEGINNING TO THINK. 


CHAPTER L 

THE COLLATION IN MERYIN’S WOODS. 

It was not without regret that little 
Kitty Brown relinquished the pleasant 
work of teaching, in old Mrs. Andy’s 
cottage. Aunt Russell, through the win- 
ter, had carefully observed the effect of 
this teaching, and was glad to see, as the 
months slipped by, that Kitty became 
more patient and thoughtful. This was 
owing partly to the fact that she per- 
severed in the enterprise which she had 
undertaken, even after the novelty was 
over, and partly to her daily intercourse 
with Rosa. 


7 


8 


KITTY BROWN 


Kosa was one of those sweet children 
of our Lord Jesus Christ, who every day 
draw nearer to the celestial city, and be- 
come more like those shining ones wdio 
inhabit it. It is the blessed privilege of 
all such pilgrims, whether old or young, 
to lure others into this beautiful way. 
Thus Kosa could not grow in grace” 
alone, but as she became like Christ, little 
Kitty, who was constantly with her, be- 
came more and more anxious to follow 
her example. 

These two causes combined, made 
Kitty a more thoughtful and patient 
child than she had once been. Her mo- 
ther and her aunt Kussell carefully 
watched her, and were ever ready to do 
her a kindness, or to please her by a 
reasonable indulgence. 

‘‘ Kitty misses her school,” said aunt 
Kussell to Mrs. Brown, one day. 

‘‘Yes, I think so. We must try and 
find something to take its place. I was 
hoping that her garden would divert her 
for a while.” 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


9 


‘^Tve been thinking,” said her aunt, 
‘Hhat it would be pleasant to her and 
Kosa, if we should take some notice of 
their little school. Perhaps we might 
invite the children to the woods, have a 
collation for them, and then make them 
some small presents. It would encou- 
rage them.” 

That is a good plan,” said Mrs. 
Brown ; and the season is so advanced, 
we might do it with safety by next 
Saturday afternoon, should the day be 
fair.” 

Aunt Bussell began immediately to 
settle on the arrangements for this 
school-festival, and while yet talking 
them over, Kitty came in. 

As she entered, she overheard her mo- 
ther say — 

‘‘ — must go with Kosa to the Factory- 
village to invite them, for we do not 
know where they live.” 

“ Who must?” said Kitty, eagerly. 

Mrs. Brown laughed. 

‘‘Why, Kitty, how came you there?” 


10 


KITTY BROWN 


‘^What were you talking about, mo 
ther?” 

“ Oh, your aunt and I were discussing 
a plan.” 

‘^Ah! I know you, mother; it was 
something for our little school, for I 
heard you say, ^Must go to the Factory- 
village to invite them.’ 

Aunt Russell told Kitty the new 
plan, and she, though almost a young 
lady in size, expressed her pleasure like 
a little child, by jumping up and clapping 
her hands. After this harmless display 
of her feelings she suddenly left the room, 
and in a few minutes was seen running 
across the common under the elm-trees, 
swinging her sun-bonnet in her- hand, 
and every now and then breaking from 
a run into a hop-skip-and-jump, which 
served still more to give freedom to her 
animal spirits. Her brown hair lay in 
damp curls on her forehead and her 
cheeks were very red when she entered 
Mrs. Day’s little sitting-room. 

“M'^hat’s the matter, Kitty?” said 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


11 


Rosa. ‘‘ Why, what have you been run- 
ning so for, this warm day ?” 

‘‘ Oh, I have such good news to tell 
you! Mother and aunt Russell are to 
have what they call a collation in the 
woods, and you and I are to go to the 
Factory-village and invite all our scholars 
to it; and they are to receive books or 
some such little presents. It is to be 
next Saturday afternoon, if the day is 
fair, and I think we had better go right 
down now and invite them.” 

‘‘I think not, Kitty,” said Mrs. Day. 
“ It is very warm now ; you would suffer 
from the heat. You had better wait 
until the cool of the evening.” 

Kitty knew perfectly well that this 
was good advice, but she sighed because 
she must follow it. To her there was 
no time but the present time. If she 
had any thing pleasant to do, she wish- 
ed to do it without a minute’s delay. 
Yet she was, as we have said, learning 
patience. Therefore she made no objec- 
tion to the proposal, but quietly sat down 


12 


KITTY BROWN 


on the ottoman, near the window. Eosa 
took her basket and resumed her work, 
— for she was mending stockings. Kitty 
looked at her for some time, wondering 
how she could do it. Why was not 
Rosa all in a fluster, just as she was ? 
She was evidently quite as much pleased 
with the new plan. 

As the two friends talked the matter 
over, the afternoon slipped quickly away. 
Eosa chatted as fast as Kitty, but still 
her' pile of unfinished work disappeared 
from her basket. As she rolled up the 
last pair of stockings, she exclaimed, 
‘‘There, mother, I think we might go 
now : it will soon be sun-down.” 

Mrs. Day said “ they must have 
their tea first,” and she ordered it. 
While it was making ready, Kitty skip- 
ped back across the green, to tell her mo- 
ther the time of starting, that she might 
not be ainxious about her return. Fast 
she went, but her little thoughts worked 
still faster all around this subject. 

How could Eosa Day enjoy so much 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


13 


when she was always so industrious? 
Kitty came to her usual conclusion : it 
must be because she is a Christian. Be- 
fore she had quite retraced her steps, she 
came also to another conclusion, which 
was this : that there is something in true 
Christians, which makes them different 
from other people. 

The two young girls had a pleasant 
tea-time in the dining-room. The win- 
dow was open, and the honey-suckle 
which clambered over it, peeped in to 
look at them — so far in that its sweet 
breath reached them. After tea they 
went to the Factory-village, and succeed- 
ed in inviting all their scholars to the 
collation in Mervirfs woods, on the fol- 
lowing Saturday. 

All ? Yes, and more too, L dare say 
you would have thought, had you seen 
them on Saturday, just after dinner, 
crowding into Mrs. Brown’s yard, and 
standing thick as flies about a sugar-cask. 
Aunt I^ssell and Mrs. Brown laughed 
heartily^when, coming up from the cel- 


14 


KITTY BROWN 


lar kitchen, they had the first sight at 
them. 

‘^Are you sure we have supper enough?” 
asked Mrs. Brown. 

Why — I think so,” said aunt Russell, 
but hesitatingly. 

‘^Them little folks will be real hun- 
gry,” remarked Tom. “'J wouldn’t be 
afraid to wager they’ll eat all they can get.” 

After a short consultation, another 
basket still was placed in Tom’s wagon, 
and another jug given in charge to Ben 
Taylor, for he, with some assistance from 
the larger Scotts, was to draw a hand 
wagon to the place of rendezvous.* A 
loud and merry chirrup from Tom, ac- 
companied by a crack of his whip, was 
the welcome signal for a move. The 
happy party kept up with him, particu- 
larly the younger boys, who seemed to 
find a great attraction in his horse, to 
which they ran as near as they dared. 
Aunt Russell was careful to provide oc- 
cupation for the children, after they 
reached Mervin’s woods. Some boys 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


15 


were despatched on an exploring expe- 
dition, to select a favourable site for the 
spreading of the treat; some were em- 
ployed in carrying stones and building 
seats. It was the business of others to 
cover these with moss and furze. The 
little girls braided oak-garlands with 
which to crown Rosa and Kitty. And 
not content with this, they then proceed- 
ed to trim a throne for the elder mem- 
bers of the party. All were happy, and 
the woods rang with the merry voices of 
children, now heard in glad song, and 
now in feats of laughter. Many a 
startled bird lifted its head from its nest, 
where it sat peacefully brooding over its 
young, and, (if little birds can wonder,) 
wondered much what had roused up the 
sleeping echoes of Mervin’s woods. 

The feast was spread. Tom and Ben 
Taylor were active serving-men, and as 
Tom, by Mrs. Brown’s direction, placed 
a cold ham in the centre of the already 
loaded l^ard, he could not forbear laugh- 
ing out ms satisfaction. 


16 


KITTY BROWN 


declare, Ben,” said he, guess 
they’ll get a supper this night, if they 
don’t any other night in the year.” 

Benny’s eyes glistened, for they were 
not often blessed with the sight of plenty. 
If the first wish of his heart just then 
had been gratified, his good old mother 
would have been suddenly put down in 
the midst of the group; but that could 
not be. So after retiring under an oak, 
and whittling away at a stick for some 
time, he whittled out courage enough to 
bring him to aunt Russell’s side, and 
then he awkwardly asked her, “ If she 
would mind it any if he didn’t eat his 
supper, but put his part in his pocket to 
carry home to his mother? He wasn’t a 
mite hungry,” he said. 

Aunt Russell took his hand and press- 
ed it warmly. You are a good son, 
•Ben,” said she. “I hope you will always 
think first of your mother. Eat all you 
can, and I will promise you, we shall be 
glad to load you down with alLyou can 
take home besides.” 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


17 


Eosa and Kitty were pleased to ob- 
serve the propriety with which their 
scholars behaved when seated on the 
the grass around the tempting eatables. 
There was no scrambling, or pushing, or 
asking, or immoderate eating. As aunt 
Nancy said, They behaved like ladies 
and gentlemen, and she thought did great 
credit to their teachers.” Mrs. Brown 
was of the same opinion, and Kitty felt 
that this was the proudest moment of 
her life. 

After the collation, Mrs. Brown dis- 
tributed books, one to each child, with 
some reasonable word of encouragement 
and advice. I do not think any one 
could tell how happy those children 
were in Mervin’s woods. 

By this time the startled birds, having 
become accustomed to the din, peacefully 
folded their wings over their little ones, 
and went to sleep. The sun gave so 
warm a good-night to the pine-tree tops 
and the western clouds, that he left them 

all blushing, when he went to seek his 
2 * 


18 


KITTY BROWN 


own rest. Ben and Tom and Mrs. Brown 
began to parcel out the fragments which 
remained — enough it proved to load all 
pockets, and leave something of a bun- 
dle for Ben’s hand-cart besides. The 
children helped, and were most of them 
wishing the afternoon was beginning, in- 
stead of ending. 

Suddenly, soft sweet voices were heard 
singing distinctly — 

“Sweet fields^^beyond the swelling flood, 

Stand dress’d in living green : 

So to the Jews old Canaan stood, 

While Jordan roll’d between.” 


Most turned to see whence the sounds 
came. At a little distance was a high 
rock which quite overlooked the party, 
and upon this rock aunt Nancy and Kosa 
Day had climbed, and there they were, 
standing upon the top of it, curtained in 
by those blushing western clouds. 

Kitty was struck with this scene. It 
seemed to her tlvat the happier aunt 
Nancy and Rosa were, the more they 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


19 


thought and wished to speak of God and 
heaven. As for her, at such a time as this, 
she was fully absorbed by present plea- 
sure, satisfied fully she was with the 
‘‘ green fields” amid which she then stood. 
From any other voices than those of aunt 
Russell and Rosa, there would have been 
no music to her in songs of greener fields 
‘'‘heycmd the swelling flood.” She was 
not anxious to be reminded then of 
heaven — earth was too lovely; it had 
her heart. ^ 

The singing of this beautiful hymn 
was the farewell to Mervin s woods, and 
after it the party returned homeward, 
and soon dispersed. Rosa and Kitty, 
with much feeling, thanked Mrs. Brown 
and aunt Russell for the great pleasure 
which they had given them. They in 
their turn, expressed their pleasure at 
the patient perseverance in teaching 
which the young girls had exhibited, and 
congratulated them upon its success. 

Kitty retired soon after her return, 
but she could not sleep, the moon shone 


20 


KITTY BROWN 


in SO brightly through her window. At 
length she rose and sat down for some 
time in the moon-light, in her night- 
dress. In recalling the events of this, to 
her, most delightful afternoon, she re- 
membered most vividly the music from 
the top of the rock. Now, when all 
alone and still, she liked better to think 
about those 

“Sweet fields beyond the swelling flood.” 

Still it seemed to her strange that aunt 
Nancy and Kosa could always be full of 
such thoughts. 

‘‘There is certainly a difference be- 
tween Christians and other people,” said 
Kitty to herself. “ I wonder what makes 
it?” Kitty was beginning to think. 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


21 


CHAPTER 11. 

THE SINtJING-SCHOOL. 

Sometimes strains of music are caught 
by the heart, and linger there long. A 
few strains of that hymn which was 
sung upon the rock in Mervin’s woods, 
produced this effect upon' Kitty. She 
even . found herself humming over this 
line — 

“ Stand dress’d in living green 

or this — 

“ There everlasting spring abides, 

And never- withering flowers.” 

At work or at play, she might be heard 
using them. Indeed she could not get 
them out of her mind. Aunt Russell 
had found the hymn for her, and she 
had committed it to memory; but the 
tune troubled her, for she could not get 


22 


KITTY BROWN 


it exactly right, and she wished to do so. 
She had an undefined impression that 
music is the employment of angels, and 
that if she could but sing hymns well, 
she should be making some advance to- 
ward piety. 

One day she came to her mother and 
expressed a strong desire to learn sacred 
music. Her mother did not fully un- 
derstand all the reasons why she wished 
to do so, but she was pleased with the 
request, and told her she would make 
inquiries and see if any one could he 
found to teach her. 

In truth, Kitty was beginning to feel 
anxious about herself. She was by no 
means sure that she was as . good as she 
ought to be, and her heart was busy de- 
vising plans which would help her to 
become a Christian without much trouble. 

Not long after this, Mrs. Powers (the 
lady at whose house the Maternal Asso- 
ciation met, when Kitty forgot her hymn 
and repeated a Bible verse,"^) called. 

* See “ Kitty and her Bible Verses.” 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


23 


She was one who was always wishing to 
do something or other for the benefit of 
young people. She had incidently learn- 
ed that their minister had a young bro- 
ther with him, who was struggling 
through many difficulties and great po- 
verty to obtain an education. 

This young man, whose name was 
Henry Merwin, was a proficient in music, 
and the minister wished, if possible, to ob- 
tain a sufficient number of pupils to defray 
his expenses at the academy. Mrs. Powers 
thought that a class of young ladies and 
children might be formed for him, and 
very cheerfully offered them the use of 
her parlour for every Wednesday after- 
noon. She called on Mrs. Brown to in- 
quire what she thouglit of the plan, and 
if she would send Kitty. Young Mer- 
win was to teach only sacred music ; such 
was Mrs. Powers’ particular request. 

Mrs. Brown gladly fell in with the pro- 
posal. It was just such an opportunity 
as she had been desiring for Kitty. She 
said at once she would send her, and 


24 


KITTY BROWN 


also Tom and Ben Taylor, to an evening 
class in Miss Preston’s school-room, if 
one could be got up.” 

Mrs. Powers, much encouraged by this 
success, immediately went the rounds of 
the village to procure other scholars, never 
once thinking of the excessive heat, which 
kept almost every one else within doors. 
Away she walked, and briskly too, 
under the shade of her great green para- 
sol, so intent on doing good, that she 
entirely forgot to ask herself whether 
she was comfortable or not. 

Mrs. Powers seldom failed in a benevo- 
lent enterprise which she wms determined 
to accomplish. She obtained the two 
classes for young Merwin — one for even- 
ings, and the other for Wednesday 
afternoons; and the place of meeting for 
the latter was appointed in her own 
parlour. 

Kitty, as usual, was very impatient to 
have the Wednesday arrive, for she an- 
ticipated a great deal of pleasure in 
learning to sing hymns, and still cherish- 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


25 


ed the secret feeling that, in some way, 
it was going to make it easier for her to 
be a Christian. On the appointed after- 
noon, an hour before the time, she went 
for Kosa Day, and found her, as she 
frequently did, busy with her needle. 

“Why, Kosa,” said she, “we shall cer- 
tainly be late — ^you are not dressed.” 

“ It is not time yet,” said Kosa, “ and 
I wanted very much to finish my skirt. 
One thing at a time, you know. There ! 
I shall be through now in five minutes, 
and dressed in five more.” 

Kitty sat down and watched Kosa’s 
fingers as they flew along the seam. 

How much you accomplish ?” said she. 

“I have to,” said Kosa, “and I am 
glad of it. It is better for me to be 
busy.” 

“ What are you doing now, pray?” 

“ Pulling out the bastings. Don’t you 
know Miss Preston says a seam is never 
done until it is rubbed open ?” 

“ Yes, but you are saving the basting 
threads !” 


26 


KITTY BROWN . 


^^Why to be sure, they are just as 
good to use again ; don’t you save 
them?” 

‘‘ No, indeed ! I never think of such 
a thing,” said Kitty. “ But come, hurry, 
Rosa, or we shall not get a good seat.’” 

Rosa hurried, to please Kitty, though 
she knew that it was quite unnecessary, 
and soon they reached Mrs. Powers’ 
house. Again were they shown into 
that parlour where they had attended 
maternal meetings. No bright fire shone 
on the hearth, and the place it had occu- 
pied was vailed with green gauze. In- 
stead of crackling logs, bunches of as- 
paragus occupied the chimney. A vase 
of pinks and roses stood on the mantel- 
shelf. The shutters were almost closed, 
and the room was cool and inviting to 
those who came in from the heat. A 
large table, filled with hymn-books, stood 
open in the centre of the room, and 
benches were placed around it. These 
benches were soon filled. Indeed, every 
seat was occupied before young Merwin 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


27 


entered. He looked up, evidently much 
pleased, to Mrs. Powers, who was sit- 
ting in a rocking-chair, in the corner, 
greatly enjoying the success of the plan. 

‘‘Yes, — all are here now,” said she; 
“ and I thought, as we are to sing only 
sacred music, it -would be appropriate for 
us to open with prayer. Will you lead 
in our devotions ?” 

The young man blushed, and hesitat- 
ed, and stammered. He was but little 
more than a boy, and though he prayed 
daily, yet it ‘ was in secret only. He 
felt therefore very painful embarrass- 
ment. Mrs. Powers saw it, and imme- 
diately kneeled herself and opened the 
singing-school with prayer, invoking the 
Divine blessing upon their efforts to learn 
the songs of Zion. 

To this prayer Kitty listened, and when, 
at its close, they were asked to follow 
Henry Merwin in a common, simple 
psalm-tune, she joined with all her heart, 
though she knew but little about it. He 
corrected mistakes, he trained wayward 


28 


KITTY BROWN 


voices, he gave a few simple lessons in 
time, and the hour appropriated was fast 
slipping away, when Mrs. Powers, who 
had been keeping a jealous eye upon the 
movements of the clock, interrupted his 
instructions. 

Mr. Merwin,” said she, the time is 
almost out, and I thought, considering 
the circumstances of some present, it 
would be proper for us to sing this hymn 
before parting.” She handed him a book, 
with the leaf turned down over the fol- 
lowing : — 

“When youth and age are snatch’d away 
By death’s resistless hand, 

Our hearts the mournful tribute pay, 

And bow at God’s command.” 

We will sing it, if you please, in the 
tune we have just been practising,” said 
Mr. Merwin. 

The pupils began to sing, but in low 
and melancholy tones. Kitty looked 
across the table. There sat two young 
girls dressed in deep black. Mrs. Powers 
had selected this hymn from a kind de- 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


29 


sire to notice their affliction. As the 
class proceeded with it, the younger of 
the girls began to weep. Her sister, 
with quivering lips, shook her head at 
her, meaning by it that she must not 
give way to her feelings, while all the 
time tears were rolling fast down her 
own cheeks and dropping upon the table. 

Kitty’s sympathies were easily ex- 
cited, and she began to experience a 
choking sensation in her throat, which 
prevented her from singing. She was 
obliged to cease, and before she was 
aware of it, tear-drops were falling on 
her own book. The music seemed very 
dirge-like to her. She thought how she 
should feel if her mother were to die. 
She was very glad when the mournful 
hymn was finished, and was one of the 
first to seek the open air and the sun- 
shine. It seemed to her as if she had 
been in the midst of death, and she long- 
ed to look again upon life. 

The birds, the fiowers, the bright and 
beautiful green leaves and blooming clover 
3 * 


30 


KITTY BROWN 


comforted her. It was pleasant to her 
even to see the cows quietly grazing in the 
shade. She half thought she preferred 
the gentle tinkling of their bells to 
sacred music, for these seemed to speak 
of life, but the other of death. A feel- 
ing, which she could not express even to 
Rosa, came over her, that one thing we 
needed religion for was to prepare us to 
die; and that unless we were going to 
die soon, it is not of much consequence 
whether we are Christians or not. A 
sudden and strong connection between 
piety and an early death sprang up in 
her mind. That night she said her 
2:^ayers somewhat hurriedly; and when 
she had placed her head on her pillow, 
tried to make pleasant plans for the 
morrow. She wished to live, not to die. 
If she became im pious she might die — 
so she would think of other things. 

The anxious inquiries of the thought- 
ful child are more appropriately met with 
a hymn, than with a dirge. 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


31 


CHAPTER III. 

THE FUNERAL. 

A DEATH occurring in the neighbour- 
hood about this time strengthened this 
impression in Kitty’s mind. 

Josiah Emery sickened and died. He 
was a good boy, who loved his Sunday- 
school and Bible-lessons, and was gentle 
and amiable at play. As he was a distant 
relation of Eliza, (Kitty’s nurse,) she 
wished to attend his funeral, and asked 
Kitty to go with her. Kitty went to aunt 
Russell for permission, as her mother was 
out of town. Her aunt hesitated about 
granting it. She did not think it alto- 
gether advisable, in the state of Kitty’s 
mind, that she should go, but as she urged 
it very much, and said Rosa was going, 
her aunt at length gave her consent. 

The two girls and Eliza went together. 


32 


KITTY BROWN 


They walked up the back-road which led 
by Andy’s cottage. The windows of the 
old school-room were open, and the rose 
that loves the poor, and, without attention 
or reward, climbs gladly over their old 
houses — the cinnarmn-vo^Q — was flower- 
ing over those brown and crumbling sills. 
And there sat Andy, knitting. 

Kitty and Kosa wished to stop and 
speak to her, and take a peep at the room 
where they had passed so many pleasant 
hours, and also to pick a rose or two, but 
Eliza looked grave and said “ they must 
not stop when they were going to a fune- 
ral !” so they hurried past. 

The well-dressed neighbours who over- 
took them also looked grave, and every 
one was speaking of Josiah, and telling 

how good a boy he was, and what a 
great loss he would be to his family, and 
how true it was that death always nipped 
the pride of a home.” 

Kitty listened to all these remarks, 
making her own reflections upon them. 
She did not say this, but she felt that 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


33 


death was a very cruel tyrant, and that it 
was unjust in God to let him have his way. 

Kosa had no such thoughts. She 
trusted God with every thing. She be- 
lieved that not even a little sparrow 
falls to the ground without his notice. 
She knew no one could die unless He 
permitted it ; and that if He did permit 
it, it was all right. No remarks of 
sympathizing, but unreflecting neigh- 
bours disturbed her faith for a moment. 
She ‘^hnew in whom she believed” — she 
had known Him long. How much hap- 
pier Kitty ’svould have been, could she 
have trusted God, too, as Rosa did. 

When our friends reached the house, 
they were, on Eliza’s account, shown 
into the mourner’s room. Here sat 
weeping relatives, dressed in deep black, 
many sobbing painfully. In the centre 
of the room stood a table, upon which 
the coffin had been placed. Kitty, trem- 
bling, sat down by Eliza. She thought 
there must be some mistake. She had 
often seen Josiah Emery, but he was 


34 


KITTY BROWN 


much shorter than that coffin. In a few 
minutes Eliza rose and went to look at 
him, and took Kitty with her. Kitty 
shuddered, for it was a pale, still, cold 
face in there, — one not at all like the 
ruddy face of J osiah Emery. She turned 
away sick at heart. 

“ Must we all come to this?” she asked 
herself “What a dreadful thing it is to 
die!” 

She went hack and nestled close by 
the side of Rosa, who had remained in 
her seat. Rosa was also thinking seri- 
ously, but yet she was not unhappy. 
She felt sorry for the weeping friends 
around her, but she knew that if Josiah 
was a Christian child, God had taken him, 
and that he was perfectly happy. In 
her mind she could follow him to heaven, 
and think of him as joining her own 
sweet sister, who had slept with Jesus, 
and was safe. Heaven seemed to her a 
most delightful place — almost as much 
so as if she really saw its crystal palaces, 
and heard those golden harps which 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


85 


there, are never silent. To be in heaven 
with Christ, and free from sin, seemed to 
her worth dying for. The ‘^swelling 
flood” lost all its terrors to her, so full 
was her eye of the sweet fields beyond.” 

Thus, the sorrowing Kosa was also 
rejoicing, but Kitty was not. The sing- 
ing of the funeral hymn revived all 
her antipathy to dirges ; and when, at its 
close, the minister rose and gave a sketch 
of the life and virtues of the departed 
youth, and in a particular manner ad- 
dressed the young people, entreating 
them to follow his example, and early 
make their peace with God, that they 
too might be prepared to die as Josiah 
was, the feeling sprang up stronger than 
ever in Kitty’s mind, that just as cer- 
tainly as she did become a Christian, she 
should have to die. 

She was not ready to decide that she 
would never be a Christian ; for after all, 
she felt as if she did love God and wish to 
please Him, and she was afraid He would 
not be pleased with her unless she was a 


36 


KITTY BROWN 


Christian. At length she concluded that 
she would obey Him and do every thing He 
required as far as she was able without 
being really pious, and that by such a com- 
promise she should save herself from an 
early death, which she could not think 
of without shuddering. 

She had arrived at this conclusion by 
the time the last of the mourning party 
had left the house, slowly bearing with 
them the remains of him who had been 
its chief joy, but who would return to it 
no more. 

As Eliza did not intend going to the 
grave, she sat still with the girls until 
the procession^ ad turned from the lane 
into the street; and then taking each by 
the hand, she walked slowly homeward. 

No one talked much. Kitty was very 
glad to be out of doom’s once more. She 
thought she would never again go to a 
funeral ; it made her too unhappy. By- 
and-by she looked up in Rosa’s face, and 
was at once struck witl^ its expression. 
The sweet smile common to it was there, 


BEGINNING TO THINK 


3T 


and she looked happy ; — the expression 
could not be mistaken, and this puzzled 
Kitty. She knew Rosa was a Christian, 
and this seemed to her just the reason 
why she should not have looked happy, 
for it was the very reason why she was 
in danger of dying young. Kitty did 
not know that Rosa had no such fear of 
death as she had; that to her it was not 
a terrible event, which was to tear her 
from every thing she enjoyed — it was 
simply going home, 

Rosa had not been unhappy at the fune- 
ral. She had felt unusually near to God, 
for she knew that in so important an event 
as death, God is very near to us. And 
now, when all was over, she was smiling, 
she scarcely knew why. Perhaps nothing 
would so well have explained the mystery 
as this verse : They shall be kept in jger- 
feet jgeace whose minds are stayed on 
Thee.” Had this explanation been given 
to Kitty, she would not have understood 
it. One must feel it to understand it. 
Kitty’s mind ^as not ‘‘ stayed on God.’” 

4 


88 


KITTY BKOWN 


She thought she liked him, and wished 
to obey him, but this was all. 

Pretty soon they re-passed Andy’s 
cottage, and found her still sitting at 
her window, reading a tract. She put 
the tract down on the window-sill, and 
Eliza, as she reached in to shake hands 
with her, knocked a large bunch of roses 
over it. 

‘“Oh, how sweet!” said Rosa, taking 
them up. “ Andy, may we have one ?” 

“Bless your little hearts, have them 
all if you want them,” said Andy.” 
Here she broke off the whole branch and 
handed it to Rosa. 

“ Thank you. It is yeiy beautiful,” 
said Rosa. “ Kitty, you shall have half. 
Let us press them when we go home 
and keep them to remember the old 
school-room by.” 

“ So we will,” said Kitty. “ See, it looks 
just as it used to, doesn’t it? What 
good times we have had here, and how 
. Benny used to dig our paths for us.” 

“ I hope you will come again another 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


39 


winter,’’ said Andy. Them were good 
children yon had. They minded as I 
liked to see children mind.” 

Eliza soon walked on. Rosa began to 
explain to Kitty the process of pressing 
flowers, and from this they spoke of the 
school, and something brought up a 
blunder of one of the Scotts, which made 
Kitty laugh. 

Hush,” said Eliza, ^^you shouldn’t 
laugh, — didn’t you know you had been 
to a funeral?” 

Kitty’s laugh was checked, but Rosa’s 
was scarcely so; and she continued to 
talk quietly about the school and the 
pressed flowers, until they separated at , 
her gate. 

Then Kitty became silent, and her 
very grave and almost unhappy expres- 
sion returned. Aunt Russell observed 
this, and that night had some conversar 
tion with her, for she wished to see what 
impression had been left upon her mind 
by the events of the day. She became 
strengthened in her conviction that it is 


40 


KITTY BKOWN 


very important how the subject of death 
is brought before the mind of a child. 
She doubted the propriety of allowing 
one of Kitty's age and habits of thought 
to attend funerals indiscriminately; and 
felt that they ought never to go, except- 
ing in company with some judicious per- 
son, who would know how to make the 
right improvement of the solemn scene. 
She regretted having allowed her to go 
with Eliza. 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


41 


CHAPTER lY. 

THE CHANT AT SENECA LAKE. 

The sad image of death could not 
be long effaced from Kitty’s mind. It 
tended much to increase her thoughtful- 
ness and general uneasiness. She was 
not satisfied unless she could accomplish 
these two things — (1) please God, and 
(2) please herself. At length she im- 
agined she had found out the way in 
which this could be done, and she be- 
came more cheerful. She resolved that 
she would be very exact and particular 
in the performance of all her religious 
duties, and consequently never neglected 
her prayers, and sometimes made very 
long ones, praying for almost everybody. 
She also learned her Sunday-school les- 
sons better than she had ever done be- 
fore, and tried to do as Rosa did when 
at school and with her companions. In 

4 * 


42 


KITTY BROWN 


short, she came, as she thought, just 
about as near to doing right as she could, 
without being so good that she might be 
considered in danger of death ! With this 
she was satisfied, and gave herself up to 
the pleasant occupations of her daily life 
with a new interest. Her conscience 
was tender, but at peace. 

One Saturday afternoon, she went in 
company with Kosa Day and Sarah 
Niles to a place called Seneca Lake. 
Ben Taylor also went with them, as they 
needed some one who could go out in the 


boat after pond-lilies. On arriving at 
the lake, they found another party had 
^taken possession of the boat and were 
^already out, and there was nothing left 
for them to do but to sit down on the 
shore and wait for their return. When 
the boys in the boat heard Ben Tajdor’s 
voice, they came and took him in, for he 
was a general favourite. They helped 
him gather lilies also, and he came back to 
the shore laden with his fragrant burden. 

Kitty danced about with joy, and 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


43 


clapped her hands when she saw him, 
and she took her share of the lilies, and 
put their long stems in the water, that 
they might keep fresh. Then she and 
Sarah Niles went to hunt in the sand 
for green snails and bright smooth peb- 
bles, and Eosa sat on the bank watching 
them, and amusing herself by skipping 
stones on the water. Ben went out 
again with the boys to fish. 

Thus the afternoon passed quickly, 
and the young people began to think it 
was near tea-time. Eosa selected a bed 
of blue violets, as the most appropriate 
place to spread their repast. Sarah 
Niles and Kitty picked oak-leaves, and 
weaving them into dishes, which they 
ornamented with lilies, and at length, 
when all was ready, they had a table 
spread fit for a queen to sit at. The 
queen of the fairies would have been 
well pleased to have been invited, and 
the young people would also have been 
well pleased to invite ' her, but the 
trouble was they did not know where to 


44 


KITTY BROWN 


find her. Indeed, there was no queen 
or fairy either in all Seneca woods; 
though the honey-suckle and daisies were 
so alive with delight, it seemed as if 
some little joyous being must be hidden 
in them. 

When every thing was made ready 
for the treat, Rosa broke off a willow 
bough, tied her cape-bonnet on the end 
of it, and swung it in the air as a signal 
for Ben to return. She remembered that 
aunt Russell had recalled them in this 
way, when Charles Carpenter fell into the 
water. Ben saw it, and immediately 
rowed ashore. The boys who were with 
him were invited to land and take tea with 
them, but they felt rather shy, as they 
were wet and dirty, and declined, saying 
^‘they had not yet caught all the fish 
they wanted.” 

Ben expressed great satisfaction when 
he saw the table which had been so 
tastefully spread, and gladly occupied 
one of those cushions of violets and moss, 
while they ate their supper. 


BEGINNING TO THINK. ^45 

Kitty felt perfectly happy. She talked, 
she sung. Merry little songs she sung, 
with now and then snatches from Mo- 
ther Goose,” by way of chorus. Ben 
laughed heartily at her, and so did Kosa. 

After supper, Kitty and Sarah went 
down again to the beach, to pack their 
treasures in some such shape as would ena- 
ble them to carry them home. These trea- 
sures. were snail-shells, pebbles, flowers, 
moss, berries, young checkerberry leaves, 
and strips of birch-bark, on which they 
promised to write letters to each other. 
Rosa’s collection was more choice, con- 
sisting mostly of rare wild flowers which 
she wished to preserve. While arrang- 
ing these, she sat a little apart from the 
others, almost unconsciously humming 
to herself. 

By this time Kitty had worked off 
much of her animal spirits, and was be- 
coming silent. Ben had gone around on 
the other side of a rock to clean his fish. 
Sarah Niles was unusually quiet. Pretty 
soon, Rosa (apparently without knowing 


46 


KITTY BROWN 


it) ceased to hum, and broke forth into 
the chant — 

“The Lord is my Shepherd, 

I shall not want, 

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures, 

He leadeth me — he leadeth me 
Beside the still waters.” 

Now, loud and clear rose her voice — and 
now it died away in tones soft and inex- 
pressibly sweet. Kitty’s attention was 
at once arrested. She dropped her peb- 
bles and turned to look at Kosa. 

‘There she sat alone, arranging her 
flowers. Beyond her, where the sun 
went down, was a broad belt of burnished 
gold, which seemed to circle one of hea- 
ven’s gates. Kitty’s impressible mind 
was much excited. She felt as if she 
could almost glance beyond that gate, 
into heaven ; and that Kosa was almost 
an angel, — and yet Kosa was not an an- 
gel. She hoped she was a Christian. 

A sudden change took place in Kitty’s 
feelings. The dark image of death vanish- 
ed. To be a Christian was not to doom 
one’s-self to an early death, — it was to 


maimim to think. 


47 


be an angel. She wished to be one. 
Gathering up her collection in her sun- 
bonnet, she walked homeward with the 
others, almost silently. Her mind was 
busy with new and serious thoughts. 
She repeated many of her Bible-verses, 
for it seemed to her they were such as a 
Christian would love, and she now earnest- 
ly desired to be a Christian. Sure she 
was she had had a glimpse of heaven. 
Its golden gates and crystal palaces rose 
before her. To be among the holy ones 
who dwelt there, was not to die. She 
would strive to be holy. 

That night she sat for some time by 
her window, thinking,— for she was not 
ready to sleep. She watched the sha- 
dows as they flitted over the clover-fields, 
and thought that earth and heaven were 
alike beautiful, and that she should like 
to live in either if she were only holy ; 
and to be holy is to be a Christian. 

Kitty slid down from her chair, kneeled, 
and softly asked God to make her a Chris- 
tian, because she wished to be an angeh 


48 


KITTY BROWN 


After tins she went to sleep with a quiet 
feeling, thinking, that as she had asked, 
she certainly should obtain. Her mind 
was at rest. 

So was it also when she arose. She 
was not sure, but thought the mysterious 
change had taken place in her sleep ; but 
if it had not it must be approaching, 
and she had nothing more to do but to 
do as nearly right as she could, and wait 
for it. 

The chant which Eosa sang, ran in her 
head. At length she inquired of her, 
where she learned it ? Rosa told her it 
was frequently sung at Mrs. Powers’ 
Wednesday evening lecture, and she 
learned it there. Kitty said she would 
ask her mother to let her go to those 
evening-meetings that she might learn 
it also, and she did so. Her mother said 
she should go, and that she herself would 
go with her on the very next Wednesday 
evening, if they were alive and well. 


BEGINNINa TO THINK. 


49 


CHAPTER V. 

MISS NANCY JONES. 

On Wednesday, however, Mrs. Brown 
was ill in bed with a violent sick head- 
ache. Aunt Russell was not at home. 
Kitty was naturally disappointed. She 
feared she should not learn the chant. 
At length she crept into her mother’s 
darkened chamber and stood by the bed- 
side. After a while her mother turned 
over and saw her there. 

^‘Do you wish for any thing, Kitty?” 
said she. 

^‘If you feel able to spare me, and 
think it is best,” said Kitty, ‘‘ I should 
like very much to go to Mrs. Powers’ 
meeting this evening.” 

You cannot go alone,” said her mo- 
ther. 

‘^No, mother, I know it — but Rosa is 
going.” 


6 


60 


KITTY BROWN 


‘‘ Who will come home with you 

‘‘ I can come with her as far as her 
house, and then I shall not he at all 
afraid to run across the Common. The 
moon shines.” 

Kitty spoke very earnestly. Her mo- 
ther saw that her heart was set upon 
going. She had observed her thought- 
ful and serious appearance for some time, 
and though she did not understand her 
state of mind, yet she felt that it would 
not be best to deny her the gratification 
of going to a neighbourhood meeting if 
she wished to do so. She told her that 
she might go, and Kitty softly slipped 
out and went for Rosa. 

The meeting which they attended was 
held in the same parlour where Kitty 
had so frequently been. It was now 
filled with benches which Mrs. Powers 
had obtained from the church-vestry. 
Hymn-books, Bibles, and lights were 
placed on the table. The room was soon 
filled, and the meeting opened. At first 
Kitty was interested, but when they had 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


51 


sung twice, and had not sung the chant, 
she was disappointed. The remarks 
which the “ brethren” made, she thought 
dull, and not to the purpose, and the 
time that past between them was to her 
tedious. She counted the ticking of the 
clock over the mantle and watched the 
movements of the hands. She began to 
feel restless. Her bench was hard, 
and it was quite wearisome to have to 
sit so long without a back. In short, 
she was thinking of almost every thing, 
until the minister rose on^e more, and 
requested them to sing the chant, com- 
mencing, ‘‘The Lord is my shepherd,” &c. 
This aroused Kitty, and she joined in it 
and the prayer which followed it, with 
serious attention. All her desires to be a 
Christian and to be like the angels, were 
again aroused.' She felt that in some 
way she was much nearer this than 
when she came to the meeting; and elat- 
ed wdth success and now broad awake, 
she slipped her hand into Eosa’s, and 
began to talk very earnestly with her. 


52 


KITTY BROWN 


Scarcely had the two girls passed out of 
the yard, when they heard some one 
walking briskly behind them ; and, in a 
minute more, up stepped Nancy Jones, 
who was a single lady somewhat ad- 
vanced in life. 

How do you do?” said she, — “ Glad to 
see you out to our good meetings. Eosa, 
you are always there, but I haven’t seen 
Kitty before. Kitty, where is your mo- 
ther, child ; why didn’t she come ?” 

• She is ill in bed,” said Kitty, pressing 
Eosa’s hand, as much as to say she was 
not altogether pleased with this addition 
to their company. 

“Oh, she is, is she? Well, that is a 
good excuse. I don’t believe you have 
as good a one for not coming oftener. 
Don’t you know it is our duty always to 
go to good meetings when we can ?” 

Kitty peeped up at Eosa from under 
her bonnet, but said nothing. 

“Kitty,” continued Miss Jones, very 
solemnly, “I hope you have made your 
peace with God, haven’t you? You 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


53 


know you may die any time. I’ve seen 
plenty of little graves shorter than you 
are. I hope you think about these 
things ?” 

Again Kitty pressed Eosa’s hand, but 
still said nothing. Eosa answered for 
her, “Kitty is thinking, we hope.” 

“I am rejoiced to hear it,” said Miss 
Jones. “Have you reason to think you 
have experienced religion, Kitty ?” 

Still no answer. Eosa, somewhat dis- 
turbed by the turn the conversation was . 
taking, again ventured to answer for her. 

“ She has expressed no such hope,” 
said Eosa. 

“ Oh, she hasn’t, has she ? Well, Kitty, 
now let me tell you what to do. You go 
right straight home into your chamber, 
lock the door, get down on your knees, 
and don’t you get up again until you 
have made your peace with God. Say, — 
will you?” 

Miss Jones looked earnestly at her. 
Just then the moon sailed from under a 
light cloud, and shone full in Kitty’s face. 

6 * 


54 


KITTY BROWN 


Half frightened and half amused, she 
almost unconsciously began to laugh, 
pressing Rosa’s hand more and more. 

That looks like being serious !” said 
Miss Jones, colouring slightly. ‘‘You 
won’t laugh over such things when you 
come to die,” — I can tell you. 

Some one now stepped up and called 
Nancy off, greatly to the relief of the 
young people. 

“Did you ever see anybody like her?” 
sa"^ tty, in a low tone, as soon as she 
was fairly out of hearing. 

“ I think she is a good woman,” said 
Rosa, with a sigh. 

“Yes, but how she does talk; it 
makes her cross if every body vron’t be- 
come pious in a minute.” 

“I do not know that we ought to say 
that,” said Rosa, gently. “ I think she is 
a Christian and wishes to have every 
body a Christian ; but she has mistaken 
ideas of the way in which she helps to 
bring this about. I wish she would not 
try to talk. She would accomplish much 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


55 


more good to content herself with pray- 
ing for those in whom she is interested. 
Did you ever hear her pray ?” 

“ No,” said Kitty, still laughing. 

‘^Well, she makes one of the best 
prayers I ever heard — better even than 
Miss Powers.” 

Kitty’s look when the friends parted, 
was still one of incredulity. As she 
tripped home under the elms, she hum- 
med to herself a fiivourite song, not the 
chant — Nancy Jones had driven the 
chant out of her mind. She entered her 
chamber and sat down by her favourite 
window, and this feeling predominated: 

Well, after all it is no such very 
great thing to be a Christian. Nancy 
Jones is one, so Kosa says. All Chris- 
tians are not angels, I see. I don’t 
know why I am not about as good as she 
is. Perhaps I am getting along as fast 
as I can.” 

Kitty went to bed and soon fell asleep. 
The next morning, her mother, who al- 
ways observed her closely, especially after 


56 


KITTY BKOWN 


she had allowed her any unusual indul- 
gence, thought she perceived a change in 
her expressive countenance. Its shade 
of seriousness had entirely vanished, and 
she appeared much as she did before 
she began to think. At a suitable time, 
Mrs. Brown drew her into conversation, 
made inquiries about the meeting, and 
soon learned about her interview with 
Miss Jones and the effect which it had 
produced. 

‘‘Kitty,” said she, “did you ever hear 
any thing of Nancy Jones’s history?” 

“ I know she lives all alone with her 
old blind mother, and takes in sewing,” 
said Kitty. 

“Yes, she does all this, and yet she 
might have been living at her ease in a 
fine house, with plenty of servants at 
her command.” 

“Why isn’t she living so then, mo- 
ther?” 

“ I will tell you her story. A gentle- 
man, as rich as your uncle Carpenter, 
fell in love with her when she was a 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


57 


scliool-girl. She was very handsome 
then, and he offered himself to her and 
she became very much attached to him, 
and they were engaged to be married. 
But when they were making their final 
arrangements, Nancy, to her great sur- 
prise, found that he would not hear of 
her taking her old blind mother to live 
with her. He offered to support the old 
lady and hire a nurse for her, but did not 
wish his wife to be encumbered with the 
care of her. Now Nancy knew very well 
that her mother would never see a happy 
hour if she left her, and after a struggle 
between love and duty, she refused to 
marry, and chose to live with and work 
for her poor old mother, and this she has 
done. Many years of care and hard 
work have made her what you see her,” 

I like her for that,” said Kitty en- 
thusiastically. I like that very much 
indeed,” and the thought darted into her 
mind, that though Miss Jones was cer- 
tainly not an angel, yet that there was 
about her a sincerity and strength of 


58 


KITTY BROWN 


Christian principle, which she could not 
summon even to meet her little girl- 
trials. The old feeling revived; that, 
after all, real Christians had a certain 
something about them which she had 
not. 

I do not know, mother,” — said she, 
after a long, thoughtful pause, — I sup- 
pose she must be very good, but she cer- 
tainly does not understand talking with 
young people. She gets provoked with 
them.” 

‘‘That is true, Kitty; and very often I 
presume she does more harm than good 
by her ill-timed and injudicious remarks, 
but you are old enough now to make 
allowances for people. All Christians 
are not like Rosa Day. You must learn 
to respect true piety wherever you find 
it. You may be sure it is doing a great 
work in the heart where it lives, though 
you may see no evidence of it. Piety 
does not change the general character, 
any more than it changes one’s looks. 
Piety makes Rosa, who was always love- 


BEGiNifINa TO THINK. 


59 


ly, still more lovely. Piety makes 
Nancy Jones, who was naturally unami- 
able and ambitious, a pattern of filial 
love and patient self-devotion; but she 
is irritable still. We must take things 
just as they are, while in this world. 
Christians are not angels here, but they 
are men and women and children, who 
have entered into a conflict with sin in 
their hearts, and who mean never to 
give up the battle till Christ gives them 
the victory.” 

“I am engaged in no such work as 
this,” thought Kitty. 


i 


60 


KITTY BROWN 


CHAPTER VI. 

KITTY PERFECTLY HAPPY. 

Before many days had passed, how 
ever, the new thoughts and practical 
views of piety, which had been awaken- 
ed by her conversation with her mother, 
were gradually forgotten, and Kitty fell 
back into her self-satisfied frame of mind. 
Of one thing she was quite sure; she 
knew that she was doing all she could 
think of, that it was right for her to do, 
and if that was not fast making her a 
Christian, — then what would ? 

One beautiful Sabbath morning in 
June, the birds awoke her about four 
o’clock. It was quite light then and the 
air was cool aud balmy, and the breezes 
came through her open window laden 
with the perfume of flowers. She did 
not rise immediately, for no one was yet 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


61 


stirring in the house, and it seemed to 
her that it would be a very long time 
before breakfast; yet neither could she 
sleep any more. She lay, broad awake, 
in a very happy frame of mind, thinking 
on various subjects which seemed to her 
appropriate to the holy day. She hummed 
softly aunt Russell’s favourite hymn — 

“Lord, in the morning thou shalt hear 
My voice ascending high ; 

To thee will I direct my prayer, 

To thee lift up mine eye.” 

Thus employed, an hour slipped quick- 
ly by. The sun shone more brightly; 
the singing birds sought the shelter of the 
woods, and flew away, singing as they 
went. Eliza’s step was heard overhead, 
and somebody was moving briskly about 
in the kitchen. Breakfast would soon 
be on the table. 

Kitty rose, dressed herself neatly all 
ready for church, except her white frock, 
and then sat down by her open window. 
She took up her Bible, and opened to the 
104th Psalm, and began to read as usual, 
6 


62 


KITTY BROWN 


with a serious feeling, but fitful attention. 
She read aloud — 

‘‘Who layeth the beams of his cham- 
bers in the waters; who maketh the clouds 
his chariot ; who walketh upon the wings 
of the wind.” 

She stopped. The sound of the words 
arrested her attention, and she read the 
verse over again and yet again, for she 
was struck with its sublimity. 

Could it be that she had read it a 
thousand times before ? She could 
scarcely believe it. Now the imagery 
came vividly before her. She saw the 
mighty ocean heaving and tossing, and 
rollings ever more, yet bearing firmly 
on its bosom the “beams” of the dwell- 
ing-place of the Most High. The “ heams 
of his chamber!” she thought. «What 
then must be his secret hiding-place?” 
She fancied that she saw the clouds 
driven across the darkening sky. She 
heard the roar of the tempest — the 
tall elms bowed before it — the earth 
trembled at its approach — and yet He 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


63 


makes these ‘^clouds his chariot,” and 
‘Svalks upon the wings of the wind.” 

Kitty was awe-struck. She closed the 
Bible and kneeled down to pray to God, 
with an impression of his greatness and 
majesty and power ’which she had never 
experienced before. Her words were 
few,, for she felt almost ashamed to speak 
to him. 

Soon after she had finished her devo- 
tions she was summoned to breakfast;, 
and when she took her seat at the table, 
both her mother and her' aunt observed 
the serious expression of her counte- 
nance. At first Kitty was silent; but as 
those around her were conversing plea- 
santly, she, after a time, joined in the 
conversation. Pretty soon she saw a 
very beautiful -damask rose-bud, of a 
choice kind, lying by her fathers plate. 

Why, father!” she exclaimed, “where 
did you get that?” 

“It is the first bud from that rose- 
bush which uncle Carpenter sent me,” 
said he, handing it to Kitty. 


64 


KITTY BROWN 


She looked at it as she had often done 
at the bush, with much interest and cu- 
riosity. Nothing, she imagined, could 
exceed its delicate beauty. In a few 
minutes she passed it to her aunt Nancy, 
who also admired it. Yes,” said she; 

God has made every thing beautiful in 
its time.” 

So he has,” thought Kitty. What 
a great Being he is, and yet he can stoop 
to make such a rose ! I do believe God 
is perfect.” 

With this conclusion her heart seemed 
to go forth in a gush of earnest love. 
At length they rose from the table and 
took their seats for family prayers. 
Kitty felt very happy, as with her Bible 
in her hand she sat down by her father. 

Yes, I do love God with my whole 
heart,” she thought. I wish I could 
show Him that I do.” 

After prayers her father said to her — 

‘H^itty,you may have that bud, if you 
wish it.” 

^^Oh, thank you, father,” said Kitty 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


65 


with glistening eyes, — “but don’t you 
wish for it T 

“No, I take more pleasure in giving it 
to you than I should in keeping it my- 
self.” 

“You shall have it, mother — or you, 
aunt Nancy, if you would like it.” 
They declined. So Kitty, as she placed 
the choice and beautiful rose in a glass 
of fresh water, felt that her full cup was 
running over. 

She placed the bud near her and sat 
down to review her Sunday-school lesson, 
for she wished on this day to be remark- 
ably well prepared. When summoned 
by the first church-bell she was ready, 
and taking her precious bud in her hand, 
she kept it carefully under the shade of 
her parasol, and stepped quickly across 
the green, hoping to meet Kosa as she 
came out from her gate, and she did so. 
She showed Kosa the bud, and was not 
at all disappointed in the degree of plear 
sure which it gave her. 

As the two friends were walking lei- 
6 * 


66 


KITTY BROWN 


surely along, Miss Preston joined them. 
She looked unusually pale, which Rosa 
immediately observed. 

I am afraid you have one of your 
sick-head aches to-day, Miss Preston,” 
said she. 

have one coming on,” was her 
rather sad reply; but I hope it will 
keep off long enough to enable me to 
hear my little class. I do not like to 
lose a Sabbath. What a beautiful bud ! 
Where did you get it? I never saw one 
like it before.” 

Rosa gave Kitty a meaning look. 
Kitt}^ understood it. She wished to 
give the bud to Miss Preston. So Kitty 
bowed^: and smiled, which said, “I am 
quite willing.” 

Rosa gave it to Miss Preston, telling 
hel* at the same time it was the* first bud 
from a very choice rose-bush. Miss 
Preston for the moment almost forgot 
her headache. 

Kitty observed this, and though such 
a slight circumstance, it affected her 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


67 


singularly. It seemed to her thal from 
first to last she had done every thing 
good and generous concerning that rose- 
bud. In the first place, she had loved 
God for having made it; and in the next 
place, she had been heartily willing to 
give up her own enjoyment of it for the 
sake of others. 

Kitty felt pretty well convinced by 
this time that she was a Christian — 
for w^ho that knew God as she did, could 
help being a Christian ? This sudden 
conviction gave her great delight. 
She looked about her on the beautiful 
waving grass, and the modest violet 
tufts. She saw the butterflies roaming 
among the daisies. She heard, the birds 
singing in the branches overhead, and 
heard the pleasant sound of the chcrch- 
going bells, and saw the children flock- 
ing to Sabbath-school, and the friends at 
her side happy tlirough her generosity; 
and she asked herself this question ; ^‘Am 
I not perfectly happy ?” And for the first 
time in her life, her full heart answered, 


68 


KITTY BROWN 


Y^B^perfectly happy T And why T 
was the question next put; and the an- 
swer was ready, — Because now I am a 
Christian and love God.” Then followed 
an earnest wish, such as she had before 
felt, that in some way she might show 
God how much she loved him.” 

The heart is deceitful ahore all things 
and desperately wichedf said Kitty's 
teacher. She was startled. She thought 
he was speaking to her, but he was only 
reading the first verse of the day's lesson. 
She wished he had read something a 
little more in accordance with her happy 
state of mind. She did not sympathize 
with the sentiment. She did not say it 
in words, but she felt that her heart had 
not deceived her. Before that pleasant 
Sabbath drew to its close, however, Kitty 
had a new proof of the heart’s treachery, 
and a new lesson was taught her, which 
was this — that emotions which are ex- 
cited by objects of beauty and sublimity 
are very difterent from piety, and must 
not be mistaken for it. 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


69 


As the hours wore away, Kitty’s en- 
thusiasm decreased. The noon sun was 
hot, and she w^is obliged to close her 
blinds; and the buzzing of the flies, 
though unmusical, disposed her to sleep. 
Her book fell from her hand, and she 
dozed in her chair until the sound of 
the bell awoke her. 

She went to church in the afternoon, 
feeling dull, for the heat was oppressive, 
and she could not get all her senses 
awake. The happiness of the morning 
had mostly vanished with its dew and 
its beauty. She thought but little about 
God — she had no response in her heart 
even for the songs of Zion. She listened, 
or tried to listen to the preaching, because 
it was Sunday. 

Once she looked at Aunt Nancy, who 
was listening attentively, and wondered 
how she could do it when it was so hot. 
By-and-by her thoughts began to “ rove 
with the fool’s eyes.” She made an eftbrt 
to keep them in check, for she felt that 
she ought to do* so, because she was a 


TO 


KITTY BROWN 


Christian; yet, after all, she was glad 
when the service was over. 

When at home, with her white dress 
taken off and smoothly put away, she 
went and sat down on the front steps, 
hut becoming tired of sitting there and 
doing nothing, she went to her mother 
to ask her, ^^What she should do?” 

“ Go to the library,” said her mother, 
and select any thing you like from the 
upper shelf there.” 

Kitty selected a book for its binding, 
and it proved to be a book about martyrs. 
She thought she could read it with profit, 
and took it to her room, that she might 
be undisturbed. 

Making herself perfectly comfortable, 
half reclining and half sitting, she began 
to read. As she proceeded, her wonder 
was excited, for she could not under- 
stand how it was that the martyrs 
sliould have borne such torments, when 
a single word would have saved them. 
When she came to an account of a 
young woman who was burned at the 


BEGINNING TO THINK. Y1 

stake, she put the book down on her 
pillow and began to think about it. 

What should I have done T she ask- 
ed herself, ‘^if I had lived then. Should 
I have denied Christ? Oh no, never! 
for I love him, and I hope I am a Chris- 
tian. But could I have been burned to 
death? That is so dreadful — I never 
could have stood it — so what should I 
have done?’' 

Kitty saw that she was between the 
horns of a dilemma, and she worked 
herself up to feel that her decision on 
this point was a test of her piety. In 
reality it was no test at all. God had 
not called her to suffer martyrdom, yet 
she began to feel as if he had, and she 
was unhappy because she could not bring 
herself to be walling to be burned at the 
stake ! At length she thus compromised 
the matter and quieted her conscience. 
^‘If I were so situated,” thought she, “I 
would say, ^ No, I do not believe in God, ' 
out aloud, and instantly say softly to my- 
self, ^ But Ido — I love him with all my 


KITTY BROWK 


7f 

heart/ and he would forgive me, because 
he knows I could not bear to be burned/^ 
Truly — The heart is deceitful above all 
things and desperately wickedT Kitty’s 
heart was deceiving her. It was leading 
her to think that poetic feelings, which 
clustered around God as their object, 
were piety, while they were not. It 
was leading her to think that she loved 
God because she loved the beautiful 
things which he had made, while she 
did not. In the glow of enthusiastic 
feeling, she had wished for some oppor- 
tunity of proving her devotion to her 
heavenly Father, but at the first test, 
even an imaginary one, the wicked heart 
shrank away into a foolish subterfuge. 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


73 


CHAPTER VIL 

KITTY HEADING “dODDRIDGe’S RISE AND 
PROGRESS.” 

Kitty was in a singular state of feel- 
ing respecting the neighbourhood-meet- 
ings. She liked to go, and yet she dis- 
liked to go. Sometimes she enjoyed 
them and sometimes she did not. Her 
mother permitted her to go when she 
wished it. She felt that her attendance 
on the means of grace and her serious 
occupations would keep her heart and 
conscience tender, and consequently she 
would be more likely to receive the in- 
fluences of the Holy Spirit, to which 
alone the mother looked for that change 
which Kitty was seeking in other ways. 

Kitty's manner when present at these 
meetings was so different from that of 
most of her companions, that it particu- 


74 


KITTY BROWN 


larly attracted Mrs. Powers’ attention. 
Mrs. Powers had lost all her own children 
when they were quite small, and ever 
since passing through those deep waters 
of affliction, she had devoted herself 
much to the religious training of young 
people who fell in her way. Sometimes 
one, sometimes another, was selected by 
her as special objects of attention and 
prayer. Her efforts in their behalf 
were not always judicious, but they al- 
ways sprang from a most disinterested 
desire to do good. 

She began to make an effort to be- 
come better acquainted with Kitty. She 
frequently spoke to her at the close of 
the meetings, and sometimes, if the room 
was crowded, found a seat for her near 
to herself. She tried to draw Kitty into 
conversation, but in this she only par- 
tially succeeded. For some reason, Kitty 
was shy of her, and did not respond to 
her kind attentions. But Mrs. Powers 
was not easily discouraged. She became 
more and more interested in Kitty — and 


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‘‘ Kilty opened ihe gate and went in, wondering.” — p. 73. 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


75 


made her conversion a special subject of 
prayer. 

It was Mrs. Powers custom to retire 
every day after dinner to that parlour in 
which the meetings were held, and spend 
a short season in private prayer. One 
hot day, about noon, while she was thus 
occupied, and had been praying particu- 
larly for Kitty, she saw her passing. 
The thought struck her that as they 
could now be quite alone, perhaps no 
better opportunity would ever occur for 
her to ascertain exactly how Kitty did 
feel on the subject of religion. So she 
knocked on the window and Kitty look- 
ed up. She raised the window. 

“Can you come in a minute, my 
dear ?” said she. 

Kitty opened the gate and went in, 
wondering. 

“ Sit down, will you, my dear,” said 
she. “ I am very glad to see you. Where 
were you going? There is no school 
this afternoon, I believe.” 


76 


KITTY BROWN 


ma’am,” was the reply; ^^but I 
am going to the Sewing Society.” 

‘‘Ah, well — what work do you do 
there ?” 

“ We' are trying now to finish off a bed- 
quilt. We had the pieces all given us; 
they are quite new; and if we sew it 
neatly, aunt Nancy and Mrs. Day are go- 
ing to quilt it for us, and then we shall try 
to sell it, and we mean to give the money 
to the Home Missionary Society.” 

“ That is a very good object,” said 
Mrs. Powers, showing by her manner 
that she was quite interested. I should 
like to see the bed-quilt. Have you any 
of it with you ?” 

“Oh yes, I have this basket full,” 
said Kitty. “ Eosa and I do the basting. 
I will show it to you.” 

Kitty took out the squares of patch, 
and spread them on the carpet in the 
order in which they were to go. 

“ That is very pretty indeed,” said 
Mrs. Powers, as she looked at it. “ And 
now Kitty, my dear,” said she, taking 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


77 


her affectionately by the hand — ‘‘I have 
been thinking very much about your 
precious, never-dying soul. I have been 
praying for you. I want to have you 
become a Christian, though I don’t know 
but you hope you are one. How is it ?” 

Kitty was naturally surprised by this 
abrupt question, and as Mrs. Powers was 
a stranger to her, she did not know 
how to answer it. Even to Eosa she 
could not have giyen a ‘^reason for the 
hope that was in her,” and the hope it- 
self had, of late, become dim. It did not 
shine much on trying-days. It needed 
sunshine and beauty and a happy heart 
to bring it out fully. So she was silent. 

I see how it is,” said Mrs. Powers. 
“Now my heart is set on having you a 
Christian, and we must use the means. 
I have a plan to propose, and you can 
think about it until Monday, and then 
come in, on your way to school, and let 
me know if you accede to it. If you will 
come at this time every day and read to 
for half an hour in ‘Doddridge’s Eise 
7 * 


78 


KITTY BROWN 


and Progress/ 1 will buy that quilt of you, 
when it is done, and pay you five dollars 
for it." 

Oh thank you,” said Kitty — suddenly 
withdrawing her hand that she might 
express her pleasure in her usual way, 
by clapping. “ I will come. That is, if 
mother will let me, and I think she will. 
We did not know who would buy the 
quilt when it was done. I must go now. 
The society cannot ,sew until I get 
there.” 

‘‘Very >Yell,”said Mrs. Powers, smiling, 
^‘you can go; only let me hear on Mon- 
day.” 

‘‘ Yes, ma’am, I wdll,” said Kitty, and 
she hastened away with her good news. 
Five dollars for their patch-quilt ! Her 
young companions were as much delight- 
ed by this prospect as she. No one gave 
a thought as to the means by which it 
was to be earned — or if Kitty did, it 
merely brought up the feeling that she 
had just as lief read ‘^Kise and Progress” 
as not, and on the whole a little rather. 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


79 


When she returned home, she sought 
her mother and aunt Kussell at once to 
give them the news. 

‘‘How did you leave the matter?” ask- 
ed Mrs. Brown. 

“Why,” said Kitty, “I told Mrs. 
Powers that I would ask you — for I 
never do any thing without — but I knew 
you would have no objection!” 

To Kitty’s surprise, both her mother 
and aunt, looked as if they were consi- 
dering objections. 

“ I should not wish you to read that 
book carelessly,” said her mother, “or as 
a task.” 

“Of course I shall not, mother. I 
shall be interested in it, I know; and 
then Mrs. Powers’s parlours are so cool 
these hot noons, it will rest me to stop 
in there on my way to school. She 
keeps them all shut up — almost dark — 
and they are delightful.” 

Aunt Russell smiled. “ Have you 
ever read ‘Rise and Progress,’ Kitty?” 

“No, but it is a good book, I know.” 


80 


KITTY BROWN 


It is not like ‘ Pilgrim’s Progress/ 
you know — there is no story to it.” 

I know' that. I did not expect 
stories. But, aunt Nancy, I like to read 
other books sometimes.” 

Kitty’s voice slightly trembled and 
her mother understood that it would be 
painful to her to have it supposed that a 
history of The Rise and Progress of 
Religion in the Soul” would not interest 
her unless it w'as turned into a story. 
She therefore at once waved her objec- 
tions to her being hired to read it, and 
told her she should go on one condition. 

And what is that, mother?” 

That you will go through with it, 
if you commence it. It would not be 
just to your young friends to disappoint 
them now in the sale of their wwk; and 
if you do not undertake it, Mrs. Powers 
might ask some one else.” 

‘‘ I will certainly go through with it,” 
said Kitty. 

After this, Kitty left home half an 
hour earlier every noon. At first she 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


81 


did enjoy the cool dark parlour, as she 
expected. It was refreshing to come 
into it from the dust and heat. Then 
she always found Mrs. Powers sitting in 
her rocking-chair, all ready for her, with 
the book at hand lying on the table. 
Kitty was a good reader, and though 
Mrs. Powers knew the book almost by 
heart, yet she enjoyed the distinct and 
natural and pleasant manner in which 
the young girl read it to her. 

As Kitty was not a fast reader, she did 
not get over much ground in the half- 
hour. Then, after a time, Mrs. Powers, 
in the goodness of her heart, deferred 
her noon prayer until Kitty came, that 
she might join with her in it, and this 
took up a portion of the half hour, 
and still less ground was gone over; and 
on the whole Kitty was less interested 
than she had expected to be. Her mind 
was running on other things. Some- 
thing new was doing or to be done at 
school — or her head was full of her half- 
learned lessons. She could not snap 


82 


KITTY BROWN 


asunder the chain of the day’s duties, 
nor yet could she link ‘^Kise and Pro- 
gress” and Mrs. Powers’s prayers in with 
it, at that hour. That she could not do 
it, frequently made her unhappy. It 
seemed to her as one indication that she 
w^as not a Christian — for a Christian she 
supposed could ‘‘pray always.” She 
thought Rosa would find no difficulty 
in reading and praying there, and 
then going right on with her geometry 
lesson. 

Kitty’s hope was often disturbed, 
though after a while she became so ac- 
customed to her daily task that she went 
through it, (much as she did her share of 
the sewing at the society,) and her con- 
science gave her but little trouble. She 
ran her eye over the pages before her to 
see how many she could push through 
each day. She read more and more 
rapidly, and sometimes,’ when, as she 
thought, Mrs. Powers had occupied more 
than her share of the half-hour, she 
skipped at first short and unimportant 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


83 


sentences, but after a time, having grown 
bolder, she ventured to make up fully 
for the lost time, by this questionable 
artifice. As Mrs. Brown had feared, 
Kitty became tired of the undertaking. 
She would not say this at home. But 
one time when she was walking alone 
with Eosa, she told her of it. 

Eosa looked grave. 

“ Do you think it wrong ?” asked Kitty. 

I agreed to read half an hour, and she 
takes u^ my time praying ; that was not 
in the agreement. I never should get 
through if I didn’t skip.” 

Are her prayers, then, very tiresome 
to you, Kitty ?” 

‘‘No, to tell the plain truth, they are 
not. She always prays for me, and I 
often feel that God will hear her, for she 
is so much in earnest; and then in pray- 
er you know, one feels so near to God — 
and this I often enjoy.” 

“ Why then should you wish to punish 
her for doing what gives you pleasure, 
and does you good ?” 


84 


KITTY BROWN 


“Oh, I do not, but I am tired of read- 
ing, and wish to get through.” 

Eosa said no more, but Kitty fully un- 
derstood her silence. “ Eosa would never 
skip, if she had agreed to read a book,” 
thought she. Alas ! I am not like Eosa, 
if I am a Christian. There is a some- 
thing about her piety which there is not 
about mine. What makes me think I 
am a Christian ? Because I love God— 
he is so good — he gives me every thing 
I enjoy.” 

“ Kitty” — something whispered — “ if 
he took away every thing you enjoy, 
should you love him still?” Kitty’s 
heart was silent — that poor human heart, 
which is “ deceitful ahace all things, and 
desperately wicTced'' 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


85 


CHAPTER VIII. 

OLD MRS. SEGUR. 

The comparisons which Kitty so fre- 
quently drew between herself and Rosa, 
prevented her from remaining long satis- 
fied with a house built on the sand. 

Time had nearly obliterated that un- 
pleasant image of death which had been 
so unfortunately associated with piety. 
She perceived also that Rosa grew 
stronger and stronger every day, and 
that her prospect of life was apparently 
as good as her own. If then young 
people did not become Christians in order 
to prepare to ,die, what was it for? 

Certainly,” thought Kitty, ‘‘it must be 
to fit them to live” True piety secures to 
them admittance into heaven, and hea- 
ven is a holy place, where God dwells 
in light unapproachable and full of 
8 


86 


KITTY BROWN 


glory, and it is a great thing to enter 
there — but Kitty knew that for the pre- 
sent she was in love with life. She 
enjoyed earth, its green fields and its 
still waters, its flowers and birds and 
sun-set clouds, and the company of those 
dear ones around her. 

True, there might be greater happi- 
ness in store for her, but why should she 
desire it? Her cup was already full ! 
This idea now, for the first time, fully en- 
tered her mind, that it was natural and 
perfectly right to enjoy life, and that 
piety, instead of spoiling this enjoyment, 
greatly increased it, by linking this with 
the heavenly life, making it part of one 
perfect whole. She realized that we 
must have religion to help us live happily 
as well as die happily. A new light 
then broke upon her path — she deter- 
mined to seek, with all her heart, this 
treasure whose ‘‘price is above rubies.’’ 
To be a Christian was not only to antici- 
pate the enjoyments of heaven, but it 
w^as fully to enjoy earth. 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


87 


Kitty felt that she must do something? 
She was not content to remain inactive 
until her piety could be made clear. 
She was anxious- at least to be doing 
good, and was not satisfied with her 
efforts in reading, for she was heartily 
tired of it, and felt that nothing but her 
promise to her mother prevented her 
often from giving it up altogether. She 
began to look about her, with an earnest 
desire to find some outlet for these new 
and benevolent emotions. 

One evening she was sitting on the 

back-steps at home, and she overheard 

Eliza and the cook talking. The kitchen 

window was open. Eliza was giving an 

account of an old black woman who was 

1 

dying of dropsy and was very poor. 

Who takes care on her?” said the 
cook. 

“Her daughter, I believe.” 

“ Why don’t her daughter he earning 
something ?” 

“ Dear me,” said Eliza, “ she has her 
hands full to take care of the old wo- 


88 


KITTY BROWN 


man. Why, she has to do all the lifting, 
and it is dreadful hard on her. She 
does want some kind of a loose gown for 
this hot weather — you might just as 
well give her that one you have on.” 

Why, how you talk, Eliza ! I can’t 
neither. I’ve nothing else to wear. You 
must go to somebody who is better off 
than me for one.” 

What is it?” said Kitty. ^‘Tell me, 
perhaps I can get it.” 

' dare say now you can,” said Eliza, 
coming to the window. “It’s for old 
Mrs. Segur. She lives up on the back 
road about a mile and a half from here. 
She is dreadful poor. Somebody ought 
to help her.” 

“What else does she need?” eagerly 
inquired Kitty. 

“ Oh, almost every thing. The town 
helps them some, and the neighbours are 
kind, or I don’t know what would be- 
come of them.” 

“I’ll go and see her to-night,” said 
Kitty. “Is it too late?” 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


89 


La, now — ’tis n’t dark till after eight 
o’clock. You’d have plenty of time.” 

Kitty hurried to her mother to ask 
her consent. Her mother was not of 
Eliza’s mind. She thought it was too 
late. 

^‘Wait until to-morrow afternoon,” 
said she, ‘^and then your aunt and I can 
get something ready for her.” 

But, mother” — began Kitty, much 
disappointed, — she would have urged the 
matter, only she had learned by long ex- 
perience, that urging never gained her 
point. She therefore checked herself 
with a sigh, and went back and sat down 
on the steps. To Kitty there never was 
any time but the present time. If she 
could not accomplish her object imme- 
diately, she felt that she might as well 
give it up altogether. Tomorrow was to 
her very uninteresting. This was one 
development of Kitty’s impatient spirit 
which often gave her trouble, and which 
she was many years in bringing under 
control. 


8 * 


90 


KITTY BROWN 


As she sat down again she talked 
more with Eliza about old Mrs. Segur,. 
and soon her sympathies were warmly 
excited for her. By-and-by she peeped 
into the parlour and observed that her 
mother and aunt were sitting quite alone 
by themselves. So she went in, and 
drawing up an ottoman, placed herself 
between them, and began with much 
animation to repeat all she had heard 
respecting this new case of distress. 

“You shall go to-morrow and see 
her,” said her mother, “if Bosa can go 
with you, and I will put you up a basket 
of comforts to take.” 

“And I,” said aunt Bussell, “have a 
loose gown you may take, which I think 
will be just the thing for her.” 

Kitty was so much pleased with the 
prospect of being the bearer of all these 
things that she could not rest until she 
had slipped out and begged Eliza just to 
go across the common with her, that she 
might tell Bosa of this arrangement. 

Bosa said she would go, and that it 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


91 


would be pleasant for them to call for 
Sarah Niles, as she had been ill, and by 
this time probably would much enjoy a 
walk. Kitty consented to this, though 
she felt that she never should have 
thought of it. 

When she retired to her room that 
night she was in a very happy frame of 
mind. Her evening prayer was one 
thanksgiving song. She praised God 
that there was so much to enjoy in life, 
and that he had made it so pleasant a 
thing to ‘^go about doing good.” She 
felt that piety was a great gift. She 
trusted — she ventured even to hope — 
that she had it — else why should she 
take such delight in following where 
Christ led the way — among the sick and 
the poor? 

After school the next day, Kitty 
found a basket standing on the kitchen 
table. On the top of it lay the loose 
gown, so she understood it was ready 
for her to take. She was soon off, and 
joined Kosa and Sarah, and they also 


92 


KITTY BROWN 


carried something. Happy and light- 
hearted, our young friends set off on 
their errand of mercy, choosing to take 
a short path across the lots, rather than 
go around by the more dusty road. 

For a part of the way this cross cut was 
very pleasant; it took them through a 
piece of woods, where the path was soft 
with the dried fern, and the acorn-cups 
lay thickly scattered, and the checkerber- 
ry-leaves perfumed the air. In pleasant 
tones the young girls conversed of many 
things, interchanging thoughts and feel- 
ings, plans and hopes with an affection- 
ate intimacy which belongs to the bud- 
ding season of a young girl’s heart. 
But after a while their pleasant chat was 
interrupted. They had stone walls to 
climb, and ditches to cross, and bars to 
let down; but at these obstacles they 
laughed. At length they came to a large 
field of ploughed land. There it lay 
stretched out, dusty and rough — without 
a tree to relieve it. 

‘^Dear me,” said Kitty, what shall we 






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Dear me,” said Kitty, “ what shall we do 1 Isn’t there 
any way of going around it]”— p. 93. 



BEGINNING TO THINK. 


93 


do ? Isn’t there any way of going 
around it ?” 

think not,” said Kosa, looking on 
either side. Down there it is all 
swamp, and up there it is not much 
better ; and besides, that would, lead us 
out of our way.” 

I cannot bear to walk over ploughed 
ground,” said S^rah Niles. “Let us go 
back and go by the road?” 

“ Oh no,” said Rosa, “ we are almost 
there now,” 

“We shall get our shoes so full of 
dirt!” said Kitty. 

“Never mind,” said Rosa, laughing, 
“ if you think you will like it better, we 
will take off our shoes and stockings and 
go barefoot.” 

This plan suited Kitty. 

“I mean to,” said she; “then we shall 
have them all nice for the rest of the 
walk. I never like to give up for trifles, 
so here they go.” 

Her two friends laughingly followed 
her example, but they found, before they 


94 


KITTY BROWN 


were half over, that they had made a 
bad bargain. The blackberry-bushes 
scratched them, and the stones and 
stumps bruised them. Kosa bore all 
these inconveniences so good-humouredly 
that Kitty and Sarah felt ashamed to 
complain, yet they were glad enough 
when they climbed the fence and found 
themselves in a pasture where the short 
grass was, soft and green. Here they 
sat down to rest and dress their bruised 
feet. Kosa laughed merrily to think 
what a time they had crossing the stub- 
ble-field. Even the plough-share turned 
up a daisy for her. 

A^fter this they soon came in sight of 
the ' hut they were seeking. The door 
stood open and a portly black woman sat 
near it, in a large arm-chair. She ap- 
peared to be asleep, and was dressed in 
an old red-flannel short-gown. How 
glad was Kitty that she had brought her 
something more comfortable for hot wear 
ther! 

As the girls shut the gate of the little 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


95 


enclosure, the noise awoke her. With 
half-closed eves she looked at them for 
a few minutes, as if she was trying to 
puzzle out who they could be. At 
length she recognised Kosa. 

“How do yau do to-day?” inquired 
Rosa, in a gentle voice. 

“Oh dear! Ou de-ar! Dreadful bad — 
ou de-ar 1” 

“ She hasn’t been very smart to-day,” 
said her daughter — walking briskly for- 
ward from a little back-room. “It has 
been pretty hot for her, and she had 
a bad spell in the night.” 

“ Yes,” said the old woman, (rocking 
her body to and fro and shaking her 
head,) “ou! I dreadful bad — I am — most 
through with it!” 

“ Do not you get any better ?” Kitty 
ventured to ask, for her heart was full. 
It was the first time she had witnessed 
what appeared to be such extreme suffer- 
ing, and the tears stood in her eyes, and 
there was a choking sensation in her 


96 


KITTY BROWN 


throat, and she felt that if she did not 
say something she should cry. 

‘‘ Better ?. Oh no — no better ! Can’t 
stand it long. Ou dear! Death long 
acoming. Ou dear!” 

‘‘ There, mother — I guess I’d keep still 
now,” said the daughter. ‘‘May-be this 
young lady will read to you again ?” 

Should you like to have me read to 
you,” asked Kosa. 

I don’t care if you do,” said the old 
woman; it kind o’ diverts me a few 
minutes.” 

She closed her eyes and became more 
calm. The daughter took from the 
shelf over the fire a dirty-looking book, 
from which she shook a quantity of 
ashes, which had fallen from a tobacco- 
pipe, and then handed it to Kosa. It 
Avas a time-worn copy of Doddridge’s 
Kise and Progress.” Without any re- 
mark, Rosa immediately opened to a 
chapter and read it slowly and clearly, 
and it chanced to be the very chapter in 
which Kitty had skipped most when she 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


97 


was reading. At first the remembrance 
of this disturbed her, for Rosa did not 
skip a word. But at length she remem- 
bered that the circumstances in which 
the chapter was now read were very 
different. She would have read it all to 
that poor old invalid, and gladly too. 
Indeed, weary as Kitty was of it, she 
felt willing to go over it again to Mrs. 
Segur, and thought she would often come 
and read to her. 

This resolution comforted her, and she 
began to look about, and she observed 
that while Rosa was reading, the daugh- 
ter took her knitting and sat down where 
she could hear too. The cat came, purr- 
ing around them and finally seated her- 
self on the door-sill to watch an old hen 
who was trying to show off a young 
brood of chickens. An old clock in 
the back-room ticked loudly — no other 
sounds were to be heard. 

To Kitty this seemed a delightful way 
of doing good, and she felt that she 
should enjoy it much. She determined 


98 


KITTY BROWN 


to come often with Rosa^ or even alone. 
She thought that she would that night 
thank God that he had made it pleasant 
to do good. Could she thus enjoy it, if 
she were not a Christian? No — she 
thought not." 

When RoSa had finished reading she 
stepped quietly into the next room, and 
left the hook on a rickety round table 
which stood there under a broken look- 
ing-glass. She also placed by it those 
things which she had brought, and Sarah 
Niles did the same. Kitty was about to 
follow their example, but the old lady’s 
spasms returned when the reading stop- 
ped, ilmd she was again rocking herself 
and moaning and groaning, and Kitty 
could not leave her. 

I am very sorry for you,” she said. 

Can’t we do any thing to make you 
feel better?” 

‘^No — no — no! Ou — dear!” 

“I’ve' brought you a loose-gown,” con- 
tinued Kitty — “ a muslin loose-gown. I 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


99 


think you will find it much more com- 
fortable than that flannel one.” 

Kitty spoke earnestly,, and began to 
unroll the gift which she thought would 
be so acceptable. 

^‘Ou dear!” said the old woman, look- 
ing at it sideways, “ I can’t be com- 
fortable no more in this world. Ou 
dear !” 

The colour came into Kitty’s face, for 
she experienced a chill of disappoint- 
ment at this reception of her present; 
and the sensation in her excited state 
was not unlike that given by a bucket 
of cold water thrown over one when 
unusually heated. She stood a minute 
with the loose gown on her arm, quite 
silent. At this juncture the daughter 
stepped up and took it from her. 

“I never! Now I am sure, who 
would have thought ! Now of all things 
in the world, that is what we most want- 
ed. Why, mother, you don’t see ; it’s a 
muslin loose-gown this lady has brought 


100 


KITTY BKOWN 


you ? I am sure we thank you, miss, a 
thousand and a thousand times.” 

Oh, not at* all,” said Kitty, her eyes 
again sparkling. I am very glad I could 
bring it; and here in this basket are 
some more things which my mother 
sent.” 

The Lord bless you for them,” said 
the daughter, taking the basket and 
emptying it. 

Whose little girl are you ?” inquired 
old Mrs. Segur. 

Again Kitty blushed. She was not 
used to being called a little girl now. 

Rosa and Sarah stepped over the cat 
upon the door-sill, and Mrs. Segur seeing 
They were going, did not wait for Kitty’s 
reply, but had a spasm, and with violent 
contortions of body and countenance, 
began to groan dreadfully. Kitty was 
wholly overcome. She felt as if she 
must do something for her. She put 
her hand in her pocket and her purse 
was there. It had but little in it, but 
that little was all the spending-money 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


101 


which she possessed. She did not hesi- 
tate on this account, but hastily empty- 
ing it into Mrs. Segur’s lap, she ran as 
fast as she could to overtake her com- 
panions, who were already climbing the 
wall. 

The groans pursued her, and she 
caught up with Rosa and seized her 
hand, yet it was not until they were 
quite out of hearing of them that she 
ventured to speak. 

Oh, isn’t it dreadful, Rosa ?” said she. 

^‘What?” said Rosa, smiling. 

‘^Why, her suffering — cannot some- 
thing he done for her.” 

Nothing but what has been done,” 
said Rosa, still smiling. 

Kitty was shocked. 

I cannot understand, Rosa, what you 
can find to laugh at in such suffering,” 
said she in a reproving tone. 

Why, Kitty,” said Rosa, she doesn’t 
suffer so very much.” 

What makes her groan and go into 
such spasms, then ?” 

9 * 


102 


KITTY BROWN 


She doesn’t only when people come 
to see her.” 

Why, Kosa ! Do you mean that she 
makes it all up ?” 

Noj not all — she is poor and dis- 
eased, and a sufferer, but she never 
groans and rocks so, excepting when 
strangers are there.” 

‘‘ The old hypocrite !” said Kitty, in a 
sudden flush of anger, when she remem- 
bered that it was into her lap she had 
emptied her purse. Why didn’t you 
tell me? I never will go near her 
again.” 

But why not, Kitty ? She is poor and 
sick, and needs help, and her daughter is 
an honest and industrious woman, and 
tries hard to get along.” 

‘‘ But it is so bad to cheat people so.” 

^«No cheating about it, Kitty, that 
ought to trouble us. Mrs.- Segur feels 
badly enough, and wishes to have us 
know it, and makes the most of it. She 
had rather any time any one would pity 
her than give her any thing. This is 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


103 


one of her disagreeable weaknesses, but 
it has never appeared to me that it 
should prevent my doing all I can for 
her.” 

‘‘Well,” said Kitty, “what is the use 
in helping disagreeable people, when 
there are so many others we can help.” 

^^That depends upon our motives in 
helping others at all,” said Kosa. “If 
we do it to please ourselves, it is of no 
use; if we do it to do them good, then 
we shall often find that disagreeable 
people need help more than those who 
are pleasant and grateful.” 

Kitty began to suspect that her mo- 
tives in wishing to do good were not al- 
together pure. After all, did not the 
desire to pleme herself by so doing, mix 
strongly in it? And if so, was this alone 
an evidence of piety ? Kitty determined 
to reflect upon this when in her room. 
She laid it up in her heart. She felt 
that her house on the sand was shaken. 

^^But Rosa” — persisted she, (more to 
break the silence than for any other rea- 


104 


KITTY BROWN 


sonj) — ^^how can you go up and read to 
her so much ? It seems to me I never 
could feel any interest in her again. 
She doesn’t desejye it?” 

«Why, Kitty,” said Eosa, while a soft 
light fell from her speaking blue eyes, 
Kitty dear, what should we do if our 
heavenly Father gave us only what we 
deserved ?” 

Kitty made no reply, but her con- 
sciousness that there was a something in 
the spirit of true piety, of which she 
was stiy. ignorant, was much stengthened 
by this remark by Eosa. 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


105 


CHAPTER IX. 

f 

THE CALL ON DOLLY. 

Kitty’s private meditations on this 
subject, did not for a time amount to 
much. She was conscious that she still 
had an earnest wish to do good, though 
it must be confessed her enthusiasm in 
behalf of old Mrs. Segur fell to a freeze 
ing point. She felt as if she had been 
taken in” by her, for in her gush of 
sympathy she had pitied the poor invalid 
much. She was not willing to make 
those excuses for her which Rosa did, 
and yet thought she was quite as ready 
to enter heart and hand upon any new 
enterprise. She wished something else 
would turn up, that she might test the 
strength of this new desire. But no- 
thing new did occur, and Rosa continued 
her weekly visits to old Mrs. Segur — but 
she, went alone. 


106 


KITTY BROWN 


One afternoon Kitty wished very much 
to do something pleasant, and she called 
for Kosa to take a walk with her to the 
Factory village^ Kosa said, She could 
not go, as it wS her afternoon to visit 
Mrs. Segur, and she did not wish to dis- 
appoint the old lady.” 

Kitty sighed and walked slowly down 
the path, pulling off lilac-leaves. She 
had half a mind to go too, and she wish- 
ed Kosa would ask her. But no — Kosa 
was silent. 

I’ve a great mind to go,” said Kitty, 
stopping short. If she wouldn’t groan, 
and make such a fuss, I would.” 

Still Kosa was silent. 

‘‘I believe I will go,” continued Kitty, 
if you will wait until I run home and 
get something to take to her ; will you ?” 

“Yes, certainly,” said Kosa. 

“We needn’t go through the ploughed 
piece again, need we?” said Kitty, stop- 
ping under the elm and looking back, 
somewhat out of breath from haste. 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


107 


“No,” said Eosa laughing, “we can go 
around.” 

The two girls enjoyed this walk very 
much, and Kitty had ^most forgotten 
the object of it, until tne brown roof of 
the old woman’s hut appeared above the 
bars. 

“ Dear me !” said she, “ what shall we 
do, Eosa? There she is, sitting at the 
window this time !” 

“Yes,” said Eosa, “it is difficult for 
her to breathe unless she is in the open 
air.” 

“ Hark !” said Kitty,^ stopping short — 
“ only hear her ! ^ Ou de-ar ! — Ou de-ar !’ 

Do 'see her, Eosa! I cannot go on. 
I will sit on the steps. You take my 
basket in, will you?” 

“ Yes, if you feel so about it,” said 
Eosa. But it is not best to mind such 
things. If we do, we cannot help those 
who need our help.” 

Kitty sat down on the step, but Eosa 
went in immediately. 

How do you feel to-day ?” she asked. 


108 


KITTY BROWN 


Oh, dreadful bad ! Dreadful bad ! — 
Most gone !” 

Has she been worse ?” inquired Kosa 
of the daughter. 

« No, not much that I knows on, but 
this hot weather makes her feel very 
poorly.” 

Kitty ventured to peep in, and ob- 
served that Mrs. Segur had on the loose- 
gown which she brought up, and this 
afforded her much satisfaction. 

‘‘Won’t the little girl come in?” said 
the old woman. 

Kitty blushed deeply at this second 
allusion to her age, and crept partly 
round the house. Before long she heard 
Kosa reading aloud, and as the groans 
ceased, she ventured once more to her 
old seat. 

Kosa, when she joined her, said no- 
thing about Mrs. Segur, but walked along 
swinging her empty baskets and singing 
as she went. She looked as if she felt 
at peace with all the world, and quite 
happy. 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


109 


Kitty/’ said she, ^^it is early in the 
afternoon, suppose we go home by the 
road. Will it be too far for you ?” 

«^Not at all,” said Kitty. should 
like it. We can stop at Dolly’s and 
rest.” 

Dolly was Kitty’s old nurse, for whom 
she retained a very lively affection, and 
she liked to visit her. It seemed but a 
very short time before she found herself 
at the wooden gate which opened from 
the lane into Dolly’s yard. 

Plow quickly we have come !” said she.. 

And there, Kosa, is Dolly now at the 
window, knitting. How d’ye do, Dolly?” 

‘‘The land! If there a’n’t our Kitty 
at this time of day 1 Why, how do you 
do, child? Walk right straight in.” 

Thank you, nurse,” said Kitty, ^^but 
it is so cool and shady on the steps, I 
know you will let us sit here. We can- 
not stop but a minute.” 

« What is your hurry now ?” 

Mother will expect me back. I did 

not tell her I should come here.” 

10 


no 


KITTY BKOWN 


« I never ! Well you sha’n t go with- 
out a mouthful to eat, any way. You 
can rest and eat, both at once, you 
know.” 

So we can,” said Rosa, laughing 
heartily. 

Rosa seemed very happy. Her heart 
was like a pure spring, perpetually 
sparkling and bubbling up. Those who 
were with her felt refreshed by her pre- 
sence. It was nothing which she did 
particularly, but it was her spirit ; as if, 
as we said, she was all at peace, walking 
with God.” It was a feeling to which 
Kitty felt her own breast was a stranger. 

What are ^^-ou doing, Rosa ?” said she. 

You are busy, I see.” 

Picking cheeses for your supper,” 
was the reply, with a merry laugh. 

See, Pve so many already.” 

The land !” said Dolly. I reckon I 
can muster better cheeses than you can 
pick up from these weeds. Now I’ll tell 
you just the very thing I am going to do. 
I am going to set my kneading-board out 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


Ill 


on that stone, and give you a bite just 
where you are. Let me reach it over 
your heads. There! you needn’t be a 
mite afeard, — it’s well scoured afore I 
lays it away.” 

The board, (white as soap and sand 
could make it,) was soon ornamented with 
a tin-pan full of dough-nuts, apple-pie, 
cake, and bread and milk. Kitty and 
Eosa partook of these niceties with a 
fine appetite ; talking and laughing, 
laughing and talking as they ate. It 
seemed to Kitty that this world, after 
all, was a delightful place. She liked it 
better than any other she knew any thing 
about. To Eosa, even this world seem- 
ed a heaven where God was with her in 
all her thoughts and enjoyments, as he 
had been in a special manner that day. 
Now and then a serious thought flashed 
into Kitty’s active mind, — it was this : 

That piety was worth having, if it was 
only to help us enjoy ourselves here.” 
Eosa thought nothing about piety. She 
seemed to be walking with God.” 


112 


KITTY BROWN 


"When Dolly saw how' much her visit-, 
ors enjoyed their treat, she w'as as happy 
as they, and stood near them, urging 
them to eat ‘‘ more and more.” The 
land ! Such food couldn’t hurt nobody, 
and they had a walk afore them yet.” 

When eating ^^more” was quite out 
of the question, she laughingly emptied 
a pan of dough-nuts ifito one of their 
empty baskets. 

‘‘You may feel faint,” said she, “be- 
fore you get across the long pasture, and 
if you don’t want ’em, may-be you’ll find 
some one that does.” 

There is enough to last us a week, 
Dolly,” said Kosa, laughing. The gate 
leading into the lane was again opened, 
and the girls entered the long pasture. 
Whortleberry bushes, black with fast 
ripening fruit, stood thick between the 
stumps of trees, and obstructed the little 
path. Blackberry bushes also dragged 
their prickly length over many a rod, to 
the sad injury of the girls’ dresses, and 
much to their delay. 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


113 


The sun had quite disappeared behind 
the distant blue mountains when Kosa 
and Kitty climbed the wall of long pas- 
ture, and were once more in the road. 
Kitty had enjoyed herself and laughed 
so much, that, as usual, she began to ex- 
2:)erience a reaction of spirits, and she 
became rather grave and silent. Rosa 
was just the same as she had been — 
happy if merry, equally happy if grave. 
She walked along, humming to herself 
some of her favourite hymns, as there 
seemed to be nothing particular for her 
to talk about, and this made Kitty still 
more thoughtful. Often very serious 
subjects all at once unexpectedly pre- 
sented themselves before her, and she 
could not but give heed to them. 

'Now the idea suddenly occurred to 
her in the light of a new revelation, — 
that she had made too much of her wish 
to do good. That there had not been as 
much piety in it as she had supposed. 
That her benevolence, after all, had a 
selfish element in it which Rosa’s did, 
10 * 


114 


KITTY BROWN 


not seem to have, and she had not 
proved herself willing to make any great 
self-sacrifice for the good of others. 

What should Kitty do? Give up in 
despair ? 

This she could not do. She thought 
she loved God and was resolved to be a 
Christian. 

‘‘I know,” thought Kitty. will 
watch my motives more closely. I will 
pray over them every day that they may 
be made better. They can be made 
better. For one thing. I’ll try and finish 
‘ Kise and Progress’ with very difierent 
feelings from those in which I have be- 
fore indulged. I wish to-morrow would 
come, that I may try it. And old Mrs. 
Segur, too — I mean to go once a week to 
visit her as long as she lives. I will 
take hold of my motives in earnest, and 
God will love me, for I do love him.” 

Yes, to a certain extent Kitty did, but 
she loved herself better. As for Kosa, 
she seemed to lie in God’s hands, just as 
a little child lies in its mother’s arms, 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


115 


loving to do as he willed. Kitty was 
hard at work, trying to do something 
which would commend her to God. 



I 


116 


KITTY BROWN 


CHAPTER X. 

THE BED-QUILT PAID FOR. 

Kitty, having resolved to undertake 
her benevolent enterprises in a new 
spirit, did not quite sleep away this good 
resolution, though she was conscious that 
she felt less interest in the matter in the 
morning than she had done the evening 
before. Yet she made a vigorous effort 
to wind herself up to that state of mind 
which was desirable. She prayed, (and 
as she thought very earnestly,) that her 
motives might be pure and such as God 
would approve. She mentioned particu- 
larly those efforts to earn money by read- 
ing, and she asked, to be forgiven for the 
impatience she had felt and manifested 
in the performance of this duty, and 
prayed that she might be assisted to feel 
about it as she ought to feel. When the 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


117 


noon hour arrived she went out with a 
calm and quiet resolution to perform her 
school-tasks in a different manner from 
what she had ever done before. Her 
“good afternoon” to Mrs. Powers was 
spoken in a more cordial tone than usual, 
and she took her accustomed seat and 
opened her book with an expression of 
interest which she had not exhibited for 
many a day. Not a word did she now 
miss, but read slowly and emphatically, 
and with a firm resolution to perform 
this duty acceptably. Mrs. Powers could 
not but notice the change, and began to 
hope that her prayers had been answer- 
ed, and that Kitty’s mind was awakened, 
and that she would soon become a Chris- 
tian; and she determined to devote still 
another season to private prayer in her 
behalf. 

“We have had a very interesting 
chapter,” said she when Kitty closed the 
book and was tying on her bonnet. 

“I trust, my dear, you find this read- 
ing is doing you good ? I am sure to- 


118 


KITTY BROWN 


day you have read with both the spirit 
and the understanding.” 

Kitty blushed at this praise, yet with 
a feeling that she deserved it; and much 
pleased that her first efibrts to do good 
with purer intentions had been blessed 
with such signal success, she took her 
leave. She walked along toward school, 
swinging her bag and thinking. She 
concluded that she had made another 
important discovery in her Christian 
course, which was that it makes us no 
happier even to do right, if our motives 
in so doing are of a mixed character; 
or, as it took another form in her mind, 
^Hhat a half-and-half Christian has ra- 
ther a hard time of it.” 

‘‘Yes,” thought she, “I see I must be 
one thing or the other; and I am deter- 
mined to be a Christian ; and I think that 
I am now growing some better every 
day.” 

It was well that there were not very 
many chapters left in “ Rise and Pro- 
gress,” with which to test the strength of 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


119 


this new goodness, Kitty finished the 
book before her resolutions began to 
show any decided symptoms of weak- 
ness. The last word was read, and Mrs. 
Powers, with a pleasant smile, imme- 
diately drew a little green knit-purse 
out of her pocket, and opening it, took 
out a five-dollar bank-note, which she 
placed in Kitty’s hand. 

I will give you this now,” said she, 
because I have it, and you can bring 
the quilt when it is done.” 

‘^Oh, I thank you!” said Kitty, with 
glistening eyes, — taking the first money 
which she had ever earned with feelings 
of intense delight. “ We’ll finish it right 
off to-morrow, and I’ll bring it.” 

Oh, I am in no hurry, my dear,” said 
Mrs. Powers. ‘‘I have had my pay 
already in the pleasure I have taken in 
hearing you read. Some other time per- 
haps we will have another book.” 

I should like it,” said Kitty, for she 
had forgotten all the dull half-hours, and 
the skippings, and the little fallings out 


120 


KITTY BROWN 


with conscience on their account, — for- 
gotten them all, now the tempting prize 
was won. 

She could not stop to talk longer, but 
slipped out, and, though at the risk of 
being late, ran back home as fast as she 
could go, to show the money to her mo- 
ther and her aunt Eussell, and then at 
the same speed away to school, where 
she arrived in due time, but quite out of 
breath and heated. She called around 
her the officers of the sewing-society and 
showed them the money, and when the 
school-bell struck it interrupted noisy 
congratulations and earnest plans touch- 
ing the finishing of the bed-quilt. 

Kitty took the lead in all these plans, 
and indeed her young companions gave 
up every point to suit her wishes, and 
she was made so much of, for having 
earned the money, that she felt a great 
degree of self-satisfaction. This enjoy- 
ment she supposed was the legitimate 
effect of her good intentions, or in other 
words, her pious feelings. It is because 




I 

• - 





9 


i 


% 



. I 


I 



Bfttij Btoluii aStjjftxnfnfl to CTfjfntt. 





It is all linished Ma arii/^ said Kitty» displaying it with 

much pride. — p, 121. 



BEGINNING TO THINK. 


121 


I am a Christian,” thought she, ‘^that I 
am so happy. I no longer wonder that 
Rosa is always happy. Why didn’t I 
find this out sooner ?” 

Thqse were days of unclouded sun- 
shine to Kitty, — days in which she made 
a great deal of herself, and others made 
much of her. By-and-by, many busy 
little fingers at work at the quilt brought 
it to the last stitch, which, again, by way 
of courtesy was suffered to fall to Kitty, 
— it being quite a strife, even among very 
young girls, to catch this pretty chance 
of first wearing the wreath ‘‘from the 
orange-tree.” The quilt was carefully 
folded and put in a basket, and five or 
six of the members of the society ac- 
comj)anied Kitty, when she went to carry 
it to Mrs. Powers. 

“ It is all finished, ma’am,” said Kitty, 
displaying it with much pride. “Aunt 
Russell thinks that we have done it well, 
considering we are but young quilters.” 

“ That you have,” said Mrs. Powers, 
putting on her glasses and examining it. 
n 


122 


KITTY BROWN 


It is mucli prettier than I supposed it 
would be. I think I must have it on my 
own bed.” 

“ The pieces are all new, — every one 
of them,” said Kitty again. “And here 
is a roll which was left, which we brought 
to mend it with.” 

“ Oh, I thank you,” said Mrs. Powers, 
laughing heartily. “I do not think it 
will come to mending for some time; so 
you had better keep those to set up an- 
other quilt with. And now, if you 
young misses would like to do so, you can 
go down in our grove and pick as many 
of the wild raspberries as you wish.” 

“ Thank you,” said Kitty. “ May we 
pick any to carry home ?” 

“Just as many as you want. You 
may as well have them as the birds.” 

Away went the girls, walking very 
properly until they had reached the 
lower garden-gate, when they could no 
longer restrain themselves, but scattered 
at full run for the grove and raspberry- 
bushes. They ate and picked, talked 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


125 


and laughed and enjoyed themselves 
highly. 

‘‘Kitty,” said Eosa, — looking up with 
her usual happy expression, — “ we should 
not have had all this if it had not been 
for you.” 

Eosa need not have said that, for 
Kitty was thinking quite enough of her- 
self She laughed a little at the remark 
and said, 

“ You see what comes of perseverance, 
Eosa,” — and then went on gathering 
raspberries. 

She picked some of the long grass 
which was awaiting the mower’s scythe, 
and threaded her berries upon it, as if 
she were stringing beads, for she wished 
to carry them home to her mother, who 
was uncommonly fond of the wild rasp- 
berry. 

She took them home and gave them 
to her mother, who was sitting on the 
piazza with her aunt. Her mother was 
much pleased with this string of rosy gems. 

“They are the ripest I have seen 


124 


KITTY BROWN 


this year,” she said, ‘^and they taste 
good to-night, for I’ve eaten but little to- 
day” 

You see, mother,” said Kitty, how 
much has come of my persevering in 
reading <Rise and Progress.’ Now, are 
you not glad you let me do it ?” 

<=4^If it has done you any good I am 
very glad, Kitty.” 

Done me good ! Why, of course, mo- 
ther, I couldn’t do so much good for every- 
body else and not get any myself” 

do not know about that,” said aunt 
^Russell significantly. ^^But now the 
quilt is sold, and the money appropri- 
ated, 3 ^ou must not expect to be as much 
of a heroine among your companions as 
you have been.” 

Why, aunt Russell !” said Kitty, in a 
mortified tone, ‘‘I do not wish to be a 
heroine. I only wish to do all the good I 
can in the world with right motives, and 
I am sure there is nothing bad in that.” 

Kitty’s tone of voice indicated that 
she expected her aunt to apply at once 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


125 


some healing balm to the wound which 
her timely reproof had inflicted, for she 
had been living much on flattery. But 
no such balm was offered; and, rather 
dejected, she left her mother while still 
eating the raspberries and went up to 
her own room to reflect upon the occur- 
rences of the day. Her window opened 
out on the roof of the piazza, so that as 
she sat by it she could distinctly hear 
her mother and aunt talking below. 

‘‘ The difficulty lies just here,” said 
aunt Russell: “Kitty is mistaking her 
desire to please others, and make herself 
happy, for a sincere desire to obey God ; 
and she has become dependent for happi- 
ness upon the praises of others, or on 
self-praise.” 

“Now, aunt Russell,” said Kitty in a 
whisper, “ you do not do right to say so. 
You don’t know how hard I am trying.” 

“ But are you not well satisfied with 
your efforts?” whispered a very low still 
voice. 

“ Yes, I am,” said Kitty, with a sudden 
11 * 


126 


KITTY BROWN 


burst of emotion ; and why sl^ouldn’t I 
be? They are good efforts, and God is 
pleased with them, unless mj^ heart is a 
dreadful wicked one and has been cheat- 
ing me all this time.” 

‘‘ The heart is deceitful dbcrve all things 
and desperately wichedf whispered that 
same little voice which had been so long 
with Kitty that it had learned all her 
Bible verses. 

A sudden conviction that this was 
true caused Kitty to burst into tears. 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


127 


CHAPTER XI. 
kitty’s visit with ELIZA. 

After the famous bed-quilt had been 
sold and the money appropriated, Kitty, 
(as her aunt had predicted,) was no longer 
a heroine. She felt the change more 
than one who had heard her reply to 
her aunt would have supposed. Indeed 
she became at length so anxious to hear 
some one praise her good deeds, that, al- 
most without being conscious of the real 
motive which actuated her, she one day 
walked very fast that she miglit overtake 
, Mrs. Yemon. 

I She expected Mrs. Yernon to praise 
her little school, and speak very flatter- 
ingly of the amount of good which it had 
I done to the poor Factory children, and 
she was not disappointed. Mrs. Yemon 
urged her to open another in the fall, and 
Kitty half promised to do so. 


128 


KITTY BROWN 


Many months passed and Kitty re^ 
mained in about this same state of mind. 
There was not much falling off in her 
efforts to please herself and others, 
neither was there any visible growth in 
those Christian graces, which were the 
distinguishing traits of Rosa’s piety. 
She seemed neither to lose nor gain 
ground — to advance or recede — on that 
pilgrimage which she thought she had 
undertaken. 

Winter approached, and it so happen- 
ed then that Eliza wished to take a va- 
cation and spend a little time with her 
aged parents, and she asked for leave of 
absence just when Miss Preston had a 
vacation and Kitty was at liberty. 

‘‘I wish you could" go home with me 
and stay a week,” said Eliza to her, one 
evening. 

‘‘I should love dearly to go,” said 
Kitty. “I was just wishing I could go 
somewhere for a little change. I’ll run 
and ask mother.” And so she did. 

‘^You can go if you think you will 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


129 


enjoy it,” said her mother. Kitty was 
sure she should enjoy it, and accordingly 
she went. 

Just at dusk, one November evening, 
Tom drove up to the little cottage which 
stood near by the old village church. 
Eliza’s father had heard the rumbling of 
the wheels over the frozen ground some 
time before the wagon came in sight, and 
concluded by the sound that no one but 
Tom could be driving, and he went down 
to the foot of the yard and stood holding 
the great gate open. The old mother 
leaned both elbows on the window-sill, 
her head resting on her hands, and thus 
she welcomed Tom and his load, with 
one of those motherly smiles which carry 
all the heart with them. She was glad 
to see her only child at home again, and 
glad she was to see Kitty too. She took 
off her things, and made her put her feet to 
the fire, and bustled about for chairs, and 
tried her best to make Tom stay to tea. 
This however he could not do as it was 
already late, so taking a large apple-pie 


130 


KITTY BROWN 


in his hand to eat as he was going home, 
he bade them good-night and drove back. 

Kitty found every thing very pleasant 
about her. The old people seemed so 
fond of each other and of Eliza, and the 
little room was neat, and the patch-quilt 
on their bed which stood in the corner 
was so bright and lively, and the cush- 
ions to the old arm-chairs so fanciful, 
and the braided rug so studded with* 
funny devices, that Kitty found enough 
to occupy her attention. Various pieces 
of embroidery also, glazed and put in 
little black frames, ornamented the walls, 
and over the great red chest of drawers 
hung a family record, which showed that 
these old people once had other children 
born to them, and that they had seen days 
of sorrow when glad young voices were 
hushed for ever in their humble home. 

Yes, many such days before this daugh- 
ter, their third Eliza, came to be their all. 
There was a great deal told on that old 
record in a few short lines. Years of 
discipline, when God was working out 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


181 


for them great good, and leading them 
by a way which they knew not of to a 
‘‘Kock which was higher than they,” 
where in their old age they found a 
peaceful shelter. 

All this was told by a glance around the 
room. In one corner, on a stand, was a 
large family Bible, which had be^n well 
read. On the table near it were many 
good books of devotion and hymns, and 
‘ the old people looked and spoke as if they 
conversed much with saints and apostles. 

In a quiet way the old lady prepared 
I the simple supper. Kitty enjoyed it 
' much, making one at that little round 
; table, and she ate her bread and milk 
' with a keen relish and listened to the 
I 'conversation which was going on with 
interest. 

Hadn’t you better go to bed,” — in- 
quired the old lady as the evening wore 
away. ‘^You don’t look very rugged, 
and you mustn’t get beat out the first 
night.” 

I do not want to go until Eliza goes,” 


182 


KITTY BROWN 


said Kitty. Mother lets me sit up till 
nine when I wish to do so.” 

So Kitty took up the gray cat in her 
arms, and began to get acquainted with 
her. 

Pretty soon, Eliza’s father put down 
the pipe which he was smoking, rose, 
and putting on his hat, opened the outer 
door. A sudden gust of wdnd blew out 
the candle in his lantern. 

^‘Why,” said he, ‘‘it snows quite fast 
I’d no idea of such a thing.” 

“ Why, so it does !” — said Eliza, looking 
out. “ If we had only waited until to- 
morrow we should have had a sleigh- 
ride.” 

Kitty was looking at the snow when 
she saw thd old man walking across the 
common with the lantern swinging in 
his hand. He entered the church, and 
in a minute the clock struck nine, and\ 
then the huge bell in the old tower began 
to ring. It startled Kitty. 

“ What’s that ?” she asked hastily. 

“The nine o’clock bell!” said Eliza’s 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


133 


mother. ‘‘Mr. Parker has rung il now ' 
almost every night for twenty years.” 

The clatter of the bell drove all other 
thoughts from Kitty’s mind. There was 
something strange, — almost mysterious — 
in this sudden din. As suddenly it ceased, 
and the lantern was seen recrossing the 
common. 

The old man entered and locked the 
door after him. 

“ You’re all snow,” said his wife. 
“Here Eliza,” (handing her a turkey- 
wing,) “ brush your father.” 

“Yes,” said he, “it snows pretty fast,” 
and he shook his hat before he hung it 
on its peg. Then without speaking a 
word, he drew up the stand, placed his i 
light upon it, opened the Bible, and be- 
gan to read where his mark was. The 
old lady put aside her knitting, took the 
corn-cob which served as a knitting sheath 
from her apron, and with folded hands 
reverently listened. 

The reading over, Mr. Parker kneeled 
and offered the evening sacrifice of prayer 
12 


134 


KITTY BROWN 


and praise. Kitty wondered if he had 
done this too for twenty years. No! 
He had not found his way into these 
still waters” until driven through them 
by those rough storms which were chro- 
nicled in that old family record which 
hung there over 'the red chest 1 

When the solemn “Amen” was spoken, 
the stand was quietly replaced, and the 
old man immediately began to rake up 
the fire. The family always retired at 
the close of this solemn conference with 
God. He wished this to be his last act, 
and was rarely known to converse on 
any subject after it. 

Eliza took her candle, said “good- 
night,” and taking Kitty by the hand, 
ascended to her little room in the loft. 
The stairs were steep, and the room low, 
and the beams and rafters all bare and 
unpainted, but the bed was decorated 
with another of those fanciful patch- 
quilts which seemed to strike Kitty’s 
fancy, and before it was another rug of 
curious workmanship, and about the 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


135 


beams were hung many little trinkets 
which Kitty liked to look at. She was 
therefore pleased with her new quarters, 
and laying her head on the snow-white 
pillow’, she slept soundly until morning. 

When she awoke she found herself 
alone. Eliza had been down stairs for 
some time. Kitty rose and dressed her- 
self, after putting up the window-curtain 
that she might see the sun shining on the 
new-fallen snow.. She felt very happy. 
She kneeled down and prayed, and then 
was all ready to enjoy the day. By this 
time the savoury odour from below made 
her impatient to be nearer to it, and she 
went down and soon showed her bright 
face over the old lady’s shoulder. 

‘‘Oh, here she is now, all in time, — 
cheery as a lark. I reckon you slept 
well, by the shine of your eyes, Kitty.” 

“Beautifully,” — said Kitty; “and now 
I am so hungry.” 

Old Mr. Parker laughed heartily. 

The buckwheat-cakes were in progress, 
and old Mrs. Parker was looking after a 


136 


KITTY BROWN 


gridiron on which she was broiling some 
kind of meat. Kitty watched her as 
she carefully slipped a dish under the 
edge, that not a drop of fat might be lost 
on the glowing coals. 

What does she do that for?” inquired 
Kitty of Eliza, who was setting the 
table. 

Why, to save it,” said the old lady. 
‘‘‘Waste not, want not,’ you know. A 
penny saved is a penny gained. We 
don’t get such steak as this every day. 
It’s some your mother sent us.” 

Kitty was very glad when the cook- 
ing operations were brought to a close. 
She began to feel as if minutes were 
hours, and that she was apparently a 
listener to the long grace which was said ; 
yet it was only with the outward ear she 
heard. She was in fact trying to make 
up her mind which of all the good things 
she would have first. 

That was a very pleasant breakfast — 
and at its close the old man took the 
little stand again and read from the 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


13T 


Scriptures as he had done the evening 
before. 

Kitty was interested in his morning 
prayer, and in the very devout expres- 
sion on .the old lady’s face, which showed 
she followed every word of it. She also 
observed the cheerful and contented 
manner in which, after this, they went 
on with the routine of simple daily du- 
ties, which had scarcely varied in twenty 
years. She wondered how they could be 
so contented and happy when they had 
actually nothing to break the monotony 
of their life from one year’s end to another 
but their daughter’s occasional visits. 

As the days passed she wondered more 
and more at this, for it was seldom that 
any one called. The newspapers came but 
once a week, and the Missionary Maga- 
zine but once a month. Not even a 
stage-coach passed their door, and the 
district school-house was round the corner, 
almost out of sight and hearing. Yet 
no listless or weary hours did these old 
people ever seem to have. Time never 
12 * 


138 


KITTY BROWN 


hung heavily on their hands. They al- 
ways had something to do to provide for 
the present want, and always much to 
hope for, in that future which both liked 
to think and speak of 

Kitty made reflections which were 
quite new to her, as she observed them 
day after day. 

Often she kept her blue eyes wide 
open for some time after she had put her 
head on her pillow, thinking. How can 
old Mr. and Mrs. Parker be so happy? 
Not only were they happy themselves, 
but their happiness was contagious; and 
they abounded in happy plans for amus- 
ing Kitty. 

One afternoon there came a thaw, and 
she could not go out. Old Mrs. Parker 
opened the upper drawer of the red chest 
and took out various bits of coloured 
paper. 

Kitty,” said she, “ shouldn’t you like 
to learn to make fly-traps ? It used to 
please our Eliza to make them, when she 
was no bigger than you.” 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


139 


“ Yes, I should !” said Kitty. 

Mrs. Parker in a few minutes had her 
old work-basket down, which contained 
all things needful for the purpose, and 
Kitty sat down by the window and 
worked most industriously at the little 
bits of coloured paper, pinching them up 
into odd shapes, and fitting one to another 
with much taste. She had not quite 
prepared all of them to string, when old 
Mr. Parker came in. 

Is it sun-down ?” asked his wife. 

“Yes, just sun-down. Well, we will 
put away work now, Kitty. This is our 
holy time.” 

Kitty looked up surprised. Her fa- 
ther did not not “keep” Saturday eve- 
ning. She was a little disappointed 
also. 

“Here,” said old Mrs. Parker, “here’s 
a box which will hold" all your traps 
nicely till Monday. You shall have it 
for your own as long as you stay. There, 
Eliza, help her put them up, and then put 


140 


KITTY BROWN 


it on the top of the chest for her/ over 
Sunday” 

Kitty wondered what was to he done 
with the evening ; hut she soon ascertain- 
ed. After tea, old Mr. Parker sat down 
and read aloud in the Missionary paper. 
This he always did, whether the number 
was new or old, or whether it had been 
read once or twice, or even thrice. 

“ It wouldn’t do us any hurt,” he said, 
once a week to hear from the poor mis- 
sionaries, even if it was an old story. 
He thought he could pray better for 
them when he followed ’em up pretty 
close.” 

Mrs. Parker listened and nodded, for 
this she could not well help. She was 
so used to being employed, it made her 
very sleepy to sit with her hands folded, — 
sleepy even in church, which was a grief 
to her. 

When the magazine reading was over, 
Eliza read aloud from the weekly news- 
paper, and then they all took good books, 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


141 


which employed them until it was time 
to ring out the hour of nine. 

When Mr. Parker came in from this 
service, Kitty looked up to him with a 
smile and said — 

You would make a good missionary.” 

‘‘That wasn’t my calling,” said -the 
old man, pleasantly. “ It’s my business 
to serve God in sawing wood, and I can 
do it that way just as well as any other, 
and better too, as long as it’s His way.” 

Again did Kitty wonder. How could 
these old people be so very happy, with 
so little to make them so. So old, too! 
Why, they must know that, at the long- 
est, they were almost at the end of life. 

“It is just what makes Kosa happy,” 
thought she as she opened her eyes on 
the brown rafters on the Sabbath morning. 
“ It must be because they are Christians. 
But I am not as happy, and I thought I 
was a Christian. There must be some- 
thing about it which I have not got hold 
of. What is it? What is it to be a 
Christian ?” 


142 


KITTY BROWN 


Now for the first time Kitty’s heart 
asked that question, and she went into 
the old village church, when the bell 
tolled, for the first time as a sincere in- 
quirer after the way of salvation. 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


143 


CHAPTER XII. 

KITTY HEARS A SERMON. 

It so happened that Mr. PercivaLhad 
arrived late on Saturday evening at the 
minister’s, and when Eliza and Kitty en- 
tered and took their seats in the little vil- 
lage church he was already in the pulpit. 
But in a quiet manner he announced his 
text as follows : And that hnowing the 
time, that now it is high time to aivahe out 
of sleep!' He addressed himself with 
great plainness, and yet with the utmost 
kindness, to Christians. He tried to make 
them feel how much guilt and danger 
there was in their coldness and indiffer- 
ence, and urged upon them a more faith- 
ful attention to their duties. He ex- 
horted them to think of sinners who were 
perishing around them through their 
neglect. His manner was solemn, affec- 
tionate and plain. For many a day no 


144 


KITTY BROWN 


preacher had come among that simple 
people, and spoken so directly to their 
hearts. Every eye was fixed upon him. 
Many who listened were startled. It 
seemed to them as if the minister knew 
all their thoughts. After the service they 
gathered without noise into little knots 
about the stove, and spoke one to another 
in low tones. The minister put on his 
overcoat and came down from the pulpit. 
He stopped a moment at the stove, and 
looked kindly and affectionately upon 
those who had gathered there. 

I like this,” said he ; — “ I like to see 
you so still; it looks as though the Spirit 
of God was here,” and he passed out. 
Kitty heard him, and followed him with 
earnest eyes. To her it seemed as if he 
was a man “ sent from God.” She wished 
he would speak to her. She thought that 
perhaps he could tell at once what was the 
secret cause of her difficulties; but he 
knew nothing of this wish, and the old 
church-door shut him out from her sight. 

She went back with Eliza to the cot- 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


145 


tage. Several quite old ladies were al- 
ready there and occupying the most com- 
fortable seats in the room. Each had a 
bag, from which they had taken the sim- 
ple lunch they were eating, as the inter- 
mission was too short to allow them to 
return to their distant homes for dinner. 
Eliza, with few words, spread a snow- 
white cloth on the round table, and placed 
upon it a tray filled with cups and 
saucers. The peat-fire had been raked, 
open, and the tea-kettle set upon the bed 
of hot coals, and a large pot of tea been 
made, a cup of which w'as kindly and ge- 
nerously offered to all who were present. 

Kitty sat down in the comer with> 
a tumbler of milk and some dough- 
nuts. She listened with great interest 
to the remarks which were made upon 
the morning services. Every heart had 
been impressed by something — an ex- 
pression in prayer, a peculiar emphasis 
upon a word of Scripture which seem- 
ed to give it a new meaning, a single 
word of advice, or a reproof which cut: 

13 


146 


KITTY BROWN 


like a two-edged sword. And all hoped 
they should hear the preacher again. 
Kitty hoped so too, though the novelty 
of the scene around her diverted some- 
what the anxiety which she had felt 
when she left the church. In a very 
short time, as it appeared to her, the bell 
again rang. But short as the intermis- 
sion was, it had been long enough for the 
news of Mr. Percival’s being there to 
spread all over the town, and crowds 
came flocking in from every direction. 
The little church was filled to overflow- 
ing, and Mr. P. did preach to a silent 
-and solemn audience. When he closed, 
many were in tears. Kitty was weeping. 

‘‘Oh, what shall I do to be saved?” 
she wished to ask. “ I fear I have no 
true religion.” After church she held 
Eliza tightly by the hand, and lingered 
in the aisle, watching all the minister’s 
movements. Now he put on his over- 
coat, and now he was slowly descending 
the pulpit-stairs, looking with an eye of 
pity and love and sympathy into eyes 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


14T 


which were fixed upon him — eyes all 
wet with tears. Slowly he came, and 
Kitty’s heart beat violently. She had 
never felt so in her life. She pressed 
Eliza’s hand still more tightly, and in- 
voluntarily stopped. A young man 
pushed before her up to the minister, and 
spoke to him most earnestly. Mr. P. 
listened in silence, and then, after a short 
pause, he said in a solemn tone, and with 
great emotion, «Oh, my friend! what a 
hard heart you have 1” and he passed on. 
Eliza also passed on, and Kitty with her. 
‘‘What a hard heart you have!” Had 
those words been spoken to her? Kitty 
felt that they were true of her. What 
she needed then was a new heart. She 
must be converted and have a new heart 
given her; and without this great change 
she could not be a Christian. 

During the few remaining days of her 
visit at old Mr. Parker s, Kitty thought 
much ; particularly during those morning 
and evening hours which she spent alone 
praying in that room in the loft. She 


148 


KITTY BROWN 


felt that learning Bibl e-verses, or being 
amiable and kind to her cousins, or 
teaching little schools, or trying to pre- 
pare to die, or trying to do all the good 
she could in the world, — that not all this 
would make her a Christian, — that she 
must he horn again. That treacherous 
and deceitful heart must be changed^ and 
God alone had power to change it. 

In this state of mind Kitty returned 
to her own home. This visit with Eliza 
had been an eventful one to her. It was 
not very long after it that she sought 
her mother, and drawing a little cricket 
to her feet, sat there ; and with her head 
upon her mother’s knee, and the quiet 
tears falling like summer rain, she told 
all the story there. 

Dear mother,” said she with a tremu- 
lous voice, “cZo you think there is any 
hope for me? Anij hope that God will 
change my heart ?” 

^‘My dear child,” said her mother, 
raising her up and clasping her to her 
bosom, “I can only say that he gives 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


149 


me leave to bring you this precious mes- 
sage : ‘ Elm that cometh unto me, I will in 
no wise cast ouV, ” 

Kitty laid her cheek upon her mo- 
ther’s, and they wept together. Then 
in a low tone her mother began to pray 
for her, pleading as a mother only pleads 
for the salvation of a child. 

After this, Kitty was quite silent for a 
time, but a length said sorrowfully — 
Mother, you do not know what a 
bad heart I have. I don’t see how I 
have lived with it. I am afraid it will 
not let me come to Christ. Do you think, 
mother, it can be changed? What shall 
I do? I cannot live with it any longer;” 
and Kitty burst into tears. 

‘‘Kitty,” said her mother, “you need 
not live with it any longer unless the 
Holy Spirit refuses to help you; and I 
do not believe he will refuse. He never 
refuses to save all those who are really 
struggling to be saved. And Kitty, 
Jesus Christ loved you, although you 
have a poor wicked heart — loved you 

13 * 


150 


KITTY BROWN 


well enough to die, that your sins might 
be forgiven.” 

What wonderful love was this ! Kitty 
had never seen it so before. Was not he 
then just the Saviour she needed ? Oh 
yes, and there she was — this Saviour 
calling her, and her wicked heart holding 
her back ! In her agony to escape from 
it to that precious Saviour who was all 
love, she saw no way but to go to him, 
wicked heart and all, and 

“ If she perished, perish only there.** 

The blessed Spirit did come to her aid, 
and even as she ran, lifted the burden 
from her, and with wonder and love she 
fell at her Saviour s feet. And behold ! 
her sins were forgiven ! 

One evening she was sitting with Kosa 
in a large closet which belonged to 
Kosa’s chamber. This for many years 
had been a favourite place of resort for 
these friends. It was lighted by one 
window, and contained shelves and cup- 
boards in which they kept their treasures. 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


151 


It was here they had now retired, that 
they might be alone. They sat together 
on a trunk, and put their arms about 
each other and talked. 

‘‘I don’t know what I was thinking 
of all the time,” said Kitty. ‘‘I wanted 
to be a Christian, and yet not give up 
any thing ; and supposed I could bring 
it about by doing as well as I knew how. 
Once in a while I had suspected I had a 
wicked heart, but the truth was I did not 
want to know how wicked it was. If I 
had I certainly would have found it out 
sooner. I thought I was doing about all 
I could while I was so young.” 

‘‘ How did you feel,” asked Kosa, 
“ when you did find it out ?” 

^‘Oh, I can hardly tell you, Kosa — it 
was dreadful. Then I had such a view 
of the Saviour, I felt as if I must give 
myself away to him, or I should die. 
At last I determined I would do it, 
wicked heart and all. I wanted to be 
his, even if I perished, and so I went to 
him. And I can’t tell now, Rosa, how 


152 


KITTY BROWN 


it wasj but just as I was determining to 
cast myself on Christ, it seemed to me 
as if my heart was changed for me. 
God the Holy Spirit must have done it; 
and yet I think he never would have 
done it if I had not gone just as I did. 
Do you think he would, Kosa?” 

‘‘No, I think he would not,” said 
Rosa. 

“And now,” continued Kitty, “you 
cannot think how happy I feel, and how 
this world seems changed to me. I en- 
joy every thing better than I did before. 
Why, what will heaven be, Rosa!” 

“There we shall be free from all sin,” 
said Rosa, “ and shall see God.” 

The two friends sat silently together, 
for just then they both felt too much for 
words to express. 

“Kitty,” said Rosa, “how should you 
like to come over here every once in a 
while, and you and I pray together in 
this closet? It seems to me it would help 
us very much in learning haw to express 
our feelings in prayer.” 


BEGINNING TO THINK. 


153 


should like it,” said Kitty. 
shall not be afraid to pray with each 
other, shall we ?” 

Not at all,” said Kosa, and I think 
we shall find great comfort in it.” 

This proved true, and the prayers 
which were offered in that little closet 
did much to strengthen the piety of our 
young friends. It was Kitty, now, as 
well as Rosa, that people spoke of as be- 
ing always good” — and though they did 
not seem so to themselves, yet they did 
feel that Christ grew more precious to 
them; and the hope of one day meeting 
him and being like him, gave them many 
happy thoughts of heaven. 





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